I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
I stopped eating pea soup. I gave it up for lentil.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
What do you call chick peas in a cavern?
Humus Sapiens
I've written a book about a very grumpy British pea farmer, it's called "Mind your peas and queues."
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
My mum makes peas for every meal. I'm sick of her reci-peas.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
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