I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What did the husband say when his wife told him he bought the wrong flowers?
"Oopsie daisy!"
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
Why should you never tell jokes about radon, cobalt and yttrium? They are just too CoRnY.
I'm going to discuss global warming on Sunday at a debate. It's a very heated topic.
I was going to make another mountain pun but I can't think of summit.
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
What did one tidepool say to the other tidepool?
Show me your mussels!
What is the strongest creature in the ocean? A mussel!
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
What is a tornado's favorite movie? Gone With the Wind!
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
Love the beach. Can I be any more Pacific?
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
Why are there so many ruts in the ice at the rink?
The maintenance crew must be slipping up.
What do books wear on a wet and rainy day? Rain quotes.
Got a cow helping me cut the grass. He's a lawn mooer.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
What type of tree can be put inside your hand? A palm tree.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
How does a rainbow greet the other weathers? With a yellow of course!
A butt lit a house on fire.
So I guess he committed Arse-on
How would you scare a snowman?
Get a hairdryer!
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed.
When you look at the sky and see the moon
You're looking at a subtle light
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
Why was the boxer fired from his job?
He never punched out.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
Solving problems in the mountains is easy. It really Alps to clear your head.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
How do blondes define hydrophobic on their school tests? A fear of utility bills.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
Girls just wanna have sun.
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
Why are seabirds so lucky in love?
Because one good tern always deserves another.
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