What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
Lazy bones.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
What happens when Bigfoot gets lost in the fog?
He is mist!
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire?
Rags to witches story.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
I used to fear giants.
Now I look up to them.
How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
What is a skeleton’s favorite TV show?
Bone-anza!
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
What did one of Frankenstein’s ears say to the other?
I didn’t know we lived on the same block.
What kind of tests are witches given in school?
Hex-aminations.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
What kind of hotdogs do ghouls like best?
Halloweiners!
Why don’t skeletons do well at sports?
Because they have no skin in the game!
Live to tell the tail.
Witches always fly on broomsticks because they want to make a clean getaway.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
How do you greet a five-headed ghoul?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello!
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What keeps ghouls happy?
The knowledge that every shroud has a silver lining!
What did the grandfather ghoul say to his grandson?
You gruesome!
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
How does a vampire bat enter his house?
Through the bat flap.
What sound do you hear when a Ghost explodes? kaBOOm!
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
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