What do you call half of a centaur?
A per-centaur.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
Live to tell the tail.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
Did you hear about the witch who got plastic surgery?
She looked really good afterworts.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
How does a Ghost say good-bye? - I can’t wait to seance you again.
How do you get rid of a witch’s hex?
Draw a hex-a-gone.
I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
What kind of dishes do skeletons serve tea on?
Bone china.
Did you hear about the comedian who entertained at a werewolves’ party?
He had them howling all night.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
What do Ghosts suffer from? Saturday fright fever.
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
THE KRAKEN: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease, please.
LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!
What cheese do vampires eat?
Munster.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
What do you get when you cross a goblin, a stop sign, and immortality?
An everlasting gobstopper!
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
What do you call a troll that’s in charge?
In control.
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
Where do werewolf go if their tails fall off?
A re-tail store.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
I wish medusa would stop objectifying people.
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
What job on a construction site is best suited to a skeleton?
Cranium operator.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
What is a skeleton’s favorite type of film to watch?
A spine-tingler.
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