What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
These sea monster jokes are so funny.
They had me kraken!
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
Why are vampire families always so close knit?
Because blood is thicker than water.
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
Draw me like one of your French ghouls.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
The ghoul didn't get his letter on time because it got lost at the ghost office.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
Where did the ghost go on holiday? The Boohamas.
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
What’s a skeleton’s next favorite rock band?
Bone Jovi.
What would you call an ogre who can write and recite poetry??
Shrekspeare.
Take a vampire to a bar, and you don't need to ask what he wants to drink. He'll have a Bloodweiser.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
How do you get rid of a witch’s hex?
Draw a hex-a-gone.
The comedian ghost had everyone in stitches - he was dead funny.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
What did the werewolf say when he sat on sandpaper?
- Ruff!
What is a baby sasquatch's favorite toy?
His Yeti Bear!
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
The skeleton didn't mind that everyone called him a bonehead.
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?
High Moon!
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
What happened to the wolf that fell into the washing machine?
It became a wash and wearwolf.
What's a werewolf's favorite mode of transport?
A lunar cycle.
What kind of birds do skeletons like?
Sea skulls.
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