What is a witch's favorite makeup?
A ma-scare-a.
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
What do you call a lie told by a skeleton?
A fibula.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
A boy ghost thought a girl ghost was cute so he asked if she would be his ghoul-friend.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
Frankenstein's monster and the bride of Frankenstein sit down for dinner
Bride: How come you never help with the dinner
Frankenstein: I did
Bride: How?
Frankenstein: I did the mash...
Bride: Don't you dare
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
What do you call a skeleton with no friends?
Bonely.
What do you call the process of naming the various species of dwarves, faeries, trolls, etc?
Binomial gnomenlature.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
What do bony people use to get into their homes?
A skeleton key.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
What does a ghoul say when they wake up?
Gaaarrrh I love the smell of ghoul in the morning!
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
THE KRAKEN: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease, please.
LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!
Where do Yetis go to dance?
To a snow ball.
Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
What do you call an ogre in an accident?
A car Shrek.
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
What do you call a werewolf that can’t decide what to wear?
A what-to-wear-wolf.
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
My friend who's a vampire was feeling a bit low. I told him to drink B positive.
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What do you call a werewolf with no legs?
Anything you like – he can’t chase you.
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces? A toastie ghostie.
Which musical group did Frankenstein not like at all?
The Village People.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
I’ve started dating Medusa recently.
Our relationship rocks!
What do ghouls drink?
Boos!
Why did the skeleton have a broken heart?
His Boney lay over the ocean.
Why do Bigfoots like to tell jokes?
Because they're killer comedians.
Why are werewolves better than vampires?
Werewolves don’t have a problem with steaks.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
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