What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
Why was the burger sad after losing the race? Because the hotdog was the weiner.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
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