I got into a fight with a snail. It was a real slug-fest.
What does a gardener call the tree surgeon who also makes a great cup of coffee?
Arbor-ista.
Why did the gardener think her plant was sick?
It was looking very green.
How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden.
If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?