You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
Dublin over in laughter.
The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
What’s the most supportive beer?
Root beer.
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.
What did the river ask the beaver? "Water you doing today?"
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
What does a gardener call the tree surgeon who also makes a great cup of coffee?
Arbor-ista.
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
I recently broke up with my caterpillar girlfriend.
She'd changed.
You were mauled by a gang of squirrels. You want to sue them but no lawyer wants to take your case. Why?
They think you are nuts.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What is the rough part of Italy called?
The spaghetto.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
Books are my kind of texts.
Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling!"
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
All her food is potion-controlled.
What can you serve and never eat? A volleyball!
My wife showed me two of her mother’s quilts and asked me which one I preferred.
I said, “I refuse to make blanket statements.”
The only good pun is a dad pun
but who am I kidding?
Where do players hide their marijuana?
Between the stash marks.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What did the owl’s valentine say?
You are hootiful.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What do you call a cow that has 1 leg? Steak
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
My mother always told me that the best place to mend clothing is in a wash basin
but I don't sink sew.
My friend asked me how my pet crow communicates…
I replied, “Microwaves”.
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
At what time of day was Adam created?
A little before Eve.
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake!
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
I surprised the judges at my last diving competition by performing a cannonball.
I made a huge splash.
My friend dragged me to a lecture about lamps. I though it would be boring but...
It was very illuminating.
Oh autumn, please don't ever leaf me again.
Go to BabaMail
