What do you call a dog’s back teeth?
Canine canines.
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
I see a sea down by the seashore.
But which sea do you see down by the seashore?
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
You know what really bugs me?
Insect puns.
What is the invisible man's favorite shampoo?
Clear.
Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?
First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare
What is it called when a tree has spine problems?
ScoliOAKsis.
I ate the exam paper
Which means that sooner or later I will pass the test
I recently went to a soft fruit party, where all the food was berry based. It was cherrific.
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
What would you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers!
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
What did mother werewolf say to the naughty boy werewolf?
- We're werewolves, not swear-wolves.
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?
She just followed her heart.
Away from their official duties, soccer players love dancing at a soccer ball.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture... But when I got home, the tables were turned
Egg-Plant a kiss on me.
What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear?
An algae bra.
My mom's sister once mistook Ritalin for aspirin...
It really upped the aunty!
Where to Bees go to party in Spain?
Ibiza.
Using vaccines is...
Antibody-building.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
I dated a doctor once. Big mistake.
She was a Psycho.
Why did the gardener need a cork?
Because his garden sprung a leek!
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
"Say you'll be wine."
Someone left their tea on my desk. It smells so good, but I won't drink it. That's just not my cup of tea.
Why does it take a while before a peach leaves a fruit basket? They have to give a goodbye peach first.
The guests were already at the door and we realized we forgot to make dessert. As a last-minute resort, my wife took the skillet, spread some frosting on it and said,
"Pancake".
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
Why was the sedimentary rock extra cheap?
Because it was on shale.
Whenever the peach gets angry, it looks at my face and screams: “You are just a peach of sh*t!”
If snowmen can’t ride bicycles, tricycles, or unicycles, what can they ride?
Icicles!
What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car?
A convertible.
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.
Why did the train have bubble gum? Because he wanted to go Choo Choo
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
Go to BabaMail
