"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." - Samuel Goldwyn
"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises."
- Neil Armstrong.
"When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms, their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture."
- Douglas Coupland
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.” —Redd Fox
"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not." - Mark Twain
“Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches.”
Unknown
"Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane." - Philip K. Dick
"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away." —Robert Orben
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." —Alexander the Great
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet." —Fran Lebowitz
“I tried every diet that was in the book, I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.”
Dolly Parton
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”- Erik Satie
"Take the admission to the gym to avoid the admission to the hospital."
- Amit Kalantri
“Anorexia is a disease not a fashion statement.”
Brooke
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet." - Rodney Dangerfield
“I like long walks especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.”
Fred Allen
"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit."
- Phyllis Dille
"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud
“I am convinced digestion is the great secret to life.”
Sydney Smith
"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes nine visits." - Author unknown
"Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches." - V.L. Allineare
“The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of money"
"I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number ou get in a diamond"- Mae West
"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." —Mark Twain
“The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you are not in shape for it, its too far to walk back.”
Andy Rooney
"My inner advisor is dying to heal me." - Astrid Alauda
"Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge"- Don Kardong
“Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge.”
Tom Waits
"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." —Milton Berle
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
"Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?" —George Carlin
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
“Fond of doctors, little health, Fond of lawyers, little wealth.”
Proverb
"I am dying with the help of too many physicians." — Unknown
“Never eat more than you can lift.”
Miss Piggy
"Older people shouldn't eat health food. They need all the preservatives they can get." —Robert Orben
“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it.”
Don Kardong.
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." —Mark Twain
“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” —Mark Twain
"If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most."
- Jason Love.
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." - Edgar Allen Poe
"To lose weight, spend time at the gym. To appear like you've lost weight, spend time with people who are bigger than you."
- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“It’s a bit unnerving That doctors call what they do practice.”
Unknown
"If the poor overweight jogger only knew how far he had to run to work off the calories in a crust of bread he might find it better in terms of pound per mile to go to a massage parlor."
- Christiaan Barnard
"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away."
- Robert M. Hutchins.
"Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night." —Dave Barry
"How sickness enlarges the dimension of a man's self to himself!"- Charles Lamb
"I only workout, because I really really like donuts."
- Unknown
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like." —Jackie Mason