What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
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