How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What is a pirate’s favorite’s fish?
A pirates favorite fish is a swordfish!
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop him a line.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
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