What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
What did the coffee lover name his son?
Joe, obviously.
How did the coffee show its love? It said, "Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me."
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
Everyone makes fun of him for using old coffee, but he insists it has the greatest sedimental value.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
What's a barista's favorite morning mantra? Rise and grind.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
What happens when two coffee lovers disagree on their favorite roast? It turns into a heated debate.
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What did the two coffee lovers say on their wedding day? We were meant to bean together.
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
How are guys just like coffee?
The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What's a coffee's favorite spell? Espresso Patronum.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
Avoid discussing coffee in sensitive company. It can make for a heated and strong debate.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
Don't talk to him before he's had his espresso or he'll lose his tamper.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
The hipster burnt his tongue. He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
How do you know if you’ve had enough coffee?
You channel surf faster without the remote.
What did the coffee say about its late assignment? Better latte than never.
Last night I was kidnapped by Aliens. They forced to work providing teas and coffees on their spaceship.
I told one alien that I couldn't find any milk. He said "In space, no one can. Here, use cream."
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers? You mocha me crazy.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
What’s the opposite of coffee?
Sneezy.
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
Go to BabaMail
