Made a shoe out of tea bags for my wife, she said she needed to wipe her nose.
Toilet jokes aren’t my favorite...
But they’re a solid number 2.
Which one of Sneezy’s kids hid his tissue paper?
Runny Knows!
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
Urine trouble.
What do you call the second tissue paper?
Kleenext.
What do you call a faucet in the capital of Belgium?
A Brussels spout.
Why are urinals the worst place to spend time?
Because it’s where all the di**s hang out.
Why did the deer get braces?
Because he had buck teeth.
I don't know don't about your faucet, but mine is doing a pour job.
Our local store had a problem with people stealing their feminine hygiene products,
so they installed a padlock.
A friend of mine was taking a bath when he realised he wasn’t a very good burglar.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
I used to hate my husband's cologne...
But then it started to rub off on me.
I can't find my scrubber in the shower
It's aloof-ah
A plumber comes home very upset and yells out to his wife- "honey, you would not believe the bidet I've had."
What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Bubble 07
You can tell the gender of an ant by putting it on top of water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it doesn't, buoyant.
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
This can of deodorant said it "Lasts 24 hours"...
So the next day I bought another can.
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it's the scenter.
Police have reported that a baseball themed perfume factory has blown up under mysterious circumstances.
They said it smells like Foul Play.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
No matter what shampoo I use, I can’t seem to get rid of my dandruff.
It’s a real head scratcher.
What did the toothpaste wear to the club?
A tube top!
I usually sing with a deep voice. But when I wash my hands,
I sing faucetto.
Once we were so poor, we only had a calendar to use as toilet paper.
Now those days are behind me.
Where does the Japanese mafia take a bath?
In a yakuzzi.
Woke up this morning to a tap on my door.
That plumber has some sense of humour.
I used to be addicted to soap.
I’m clean now.
Someone stole my fragrance-free lotion...
It was a scentless act of cruelty.
I'm good at manicures but bad at languages.
Although I think I would nail Polish.
What do you call a tariff on skin?
A tax-a-dermis!
What did Archimedes's girlfriend told him when he hadn't taken bath for several days?
Eu-reek-a
I couldn't tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside.
Turns out he was full of s**t.
I used to be pretty nifty tap dancer...
Until I fell into the sink.
Was talking to a record producer at the urinals the other day...
Next thing you know I had a number one on my hands.
Got out of the shower, went downstairs and opened the door in my towel.
I know it’s a funny place to have a door, but there you have it.
My brother sprayed on some of his new deodorant. "How do I smell?" He asked.
"With your nose" I replied.
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
A police officer was fired shortly after leaving the bathroom.
He was upset about being fired, but happy to be relieved of doody.
I tried to turn on a tap. It was a bit stiff though...
So I had to faucet.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
Gave my pet leopard a bath every day. Now he’s spotless.
I go through so much shampoo it's just ridiculous!
I don't know, maybe my head is bigger than most but it does say to use a cap full.
Mascara and lipstick broke up last week.
Now they are trying to make-up!
Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant...
Dirty Bastards.
Guess what I got my toilet for its birthday?
A Urinal cake.
Have you heard Mariah Kleenex's big holiday single?
It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"
What’s that Nevada city where all the dentists visit?
Floss Vegas.
I don't like strong perfumes...
I guess I'm inscentsitive.
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