What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet!
I’ve been having a blast.
Why do vampires clean their teeth three times a day?
To prevent bat breath.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush ...
Safe to say I have pipe dreams!
Only a**holes use bidets.
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
Why did the tooth see a therapist?
To get to the root of their problems.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
What do you call a guy that has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play?
PunGent.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
What makes it okay for bats to just poop wherever they want?
For a bat, every room is the batroom.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
What would you call a familiar scent?
Nose-talgic.
What did the toilet say to the urinal after it was hired?
“Urine!”
My sister just bought a set of odorless perfumes.
It doesn’t make any scents.
My brother sprayed on some of his new deodorant. "How do I smell?" He asked.
"With your nose" I replied.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
I was sick and tired of the kids leaving their business in the toilet, so I yelled at them.
They immediately flushed with embarrassment.
My shampoo bottle was empty. I turned to the only other bottle in the shower and said, "help me body wash...
You're my only soap!"
When you buy a bigger bathtub....
You have more bath room, but less bathroom.
A plumber comes home very upset and yells out to his wife- "honey, you would not believe the bidet I've had."
This can of deodorant said it "Lasts 24 hours"...
So the next day I bought another can.
Prince Charles is selling his towel.
If anybody wants a heir dryer...
I just dropped my phone in the bath
Now it's syncing.
Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo?
For meatier showers.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
I got 5 packs of deodorant for a nickel.
Deodorant is a scent.
I got this new chapstick today...
It's the balm!
What do you call a tree that grows deodorant, toothpaste and tampons?
A toiletry.
What's it called when a perfume climbs up the stairs?
Ascent.
Why don't ghosts wear deodorant?
They like to keep it super natural.
Have you heard about the new his & hers toothpaste?
The flavor is "mint to be".
Why are the tiles in your shower so jolly?
They're having a grout time.
My mother always told me that the best place to mend clothing is in a wash basin
but I don't sink sew.
Don't ever think dentists are perfect individuals
They most certainly have floss.
My toilet just turned one today.
It was her bidet.
What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?
One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.
I tried to tell a joke about towels...
But people don’t like my dry humor.
A plumber and his coworkers finally fixed his own sink after years of not having access to tap water. He started crying, and his coworkers asked why.
He said with a trembling voice, "Because water works!"
Swimming pools are just chlorified bathtubs...
Mascara and lipstick broke up last week.
Now they are trying to make-up!
I was thinking about hopping in the shower...
But I realized that I might slip and hurt myself.
Which one of Sneezy’s kids hid his tissue paper?
Runny Knows!
I lost my daughter’s cosmetics bag...
I wonder how I’ll make up for this mistake.
Do perfumes expire?
In essence, they do.
How did dinosaurs clean their teeth?
With flossils.
Putting on makeup and putting on glasses serve the same purpose...
They make the person look better!
I wanted to redo the flooring in my bathroom, but I did not have enough tiles...
It was a few'tile effort.
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