What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
I went to a Church yard sale looking for a grill...
Unfortunately, they only had friars.
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
One blender turns to the one next to it and says "You're looking exceptionally good today!"
So the other replies, "You're such a smoothie talker"
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
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