What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
What do you call a stampeding herd of llamas?
The alpacalypse.
If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?
How do turtles communicate with each other?
With shell phones.
What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter. A little (h)otter
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
What Disney movie can a deer watch over and over again?
Fawn-tasia.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
What part of a flamingo has the most feathers?
The outside.
When you cross a wolf and a monkey, you end up with a howler monkey.
It is said that crows and owls are in caw-hoots.
Where do crabs invest their money?
A sea bank.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
A famous turtle is called a shell-ebrity.
If you have a parrot, it says a lot about you!
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
There was a weird Crab
Whenever he used to walk, his claws used to make a ta-ta-ta-ta sound.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs mark the spot.
When does a bat go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
Where do horses go on vacation?
Flankfurt.
A Zebra said to a Lion “Let’s swap roles for a while."
The Lion said “ I’m game!”.
Did you hear about the crow who worked at a call Center?
He was fired for Just Caws.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
What do you call a cold penguin?
A Brrr-d.
What would a tiger running a Xerox machine in the back of a store be called? A copycat.
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house cannot jump!
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