What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What kind of aquatic animal thinks you did a good job?
The seal of approval.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
Where do you get frog's eggs?
At the spawn shop.
Her: "Buffalo meat is delicious. What are they made of? Beef?"
Me: "No... They're made of buff."
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Import-ant.
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
My pet turtle died.
I'm not upset - just shell-shocked.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What is a frog's favorite time?
Leap year.
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
What animal would you most like to be on a cold day?
A little otter...
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
Where do squirrels go when they have a nervous breakdown?
To the nut-house.
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
An electrocuted turtle feels shell-shocked.
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
These puns are turtle-y hilarious.
Dolphins don't have accidents.
They do everything on porpoise.
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
What did the dinosaur ask his pet dog when he wanted afternoon tea with him?
Do you want some tea, Rex?
Sometimes we eat a crow while other times we eat Croatia.
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance style? Hip-Hop!
Why don't dinosaurs ever forget? Because no one ever tells them anything!
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
Go to BabaMail
