What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
What's a bats favorite desert? I-Scream!
Crowing, crowing, gone.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?
Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
How do you save a drowning otter? Take your foot of its head
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Beaver Y.
Beaver Y. who?
Bea-ver-y quiet, you are in a library.
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
What did the zoologist and the herbalist name their child? Tiger Woods.
Why are Siberian tigers so happy at Christmas time? Because it is snowy, and they get to look like white tigers.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came?
Put it on my bill!
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Why are beavers only found in freshwaters? Because they don't like stale water.
What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
Ant-ten-eye.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
Q. Which doe did all the stags and bucks sing about in the 1960s?
A. Deer Prudence.
What does Spider-man become when he joins the circus?
an aracnobat.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
The builder beaver decided to launch a new liquid dam-building product, but the market was too saturated.
Why did the parrot cross the road? Just beak-ause!
A beaver's experience in college deep-ends on if they go to the best university.
Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
My wife and I have been having trouble communicating. We decided to take a walk when we passed a farm. She said "awww, babe look at the sheep."
"No, ewe." I said.
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