What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
What is a frog's favorite time?
Leap year.
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
A priest, a rabbit and a deacon walk into a blood bank.
"I think I might be a type o." said the rabbit.
Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
Because then the kids have to play indoors.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs mark the spot.
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
What kind of ant is good at math?
An account-ant.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What’s an elephant’s favorite sport?
Squash.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite year?
A leap year.
What did the mommy dolphin do when her son was an hour late for dinner?
She flipped out!
What are ants made of?
Antimatter.
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
What do you call an ant that moves to another country?
An emigr-ant.
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
Why was the koala scientist so well-respected by his peers? He was known for conducting excellent koalatative research.
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Croak-et.
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete’s foot.
What did the banana say to the monkey?
Nothing, bananas don’t talk.
Why don’t monkeys wear pocket watches?
Because they don’t wear pants.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
How Do Ducks Talk?
They don't, you quack.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Beakaboo
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What did the owl booty text his girlfriend?
I’ve been thinking about you owl night long.
Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.
I ordered chicken fingers tossed in Buffalo sauce the other day
I asked the chef to be gentle while tossing them though. Because they’re tenders.
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
Did you guys hear about the camel that got a gig playing a cow on Broadway?
She was a real drama dairy.
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