What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
Why did the otter cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
I threw water on a flamingo the other day
Now it's just an O.
Q. Which square dancing step do stags enjoy most?
A. The Doe-si-Does.
What is a cow’s favorite lunch meat?
Bullogna.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
What natural disaster took out the ancient horses?
A volcanic stirruption.
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What’s a goat’s favorite musical?
Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dream Goat.
How do you make a panda?
Punch a polar bear in the eyes.
What does a Saudi bee call its bros?
Habibees.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats fireworks? A dino-mite
What’s the scariest koala movie ever made? The Bear Witch Project.
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
What is a worm's favorite band? Mud.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
Why did the koala get fired from his job?
Because he would only do the bear minimum.
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
Where does a camel go after he's eaten his main course? He walks straight to the desert trolley.
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What family does Maiasaur belong to? I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Where do dinosaurs get their mail ? At the dead-letter office!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
Why did the otter cross the river?
To get to the otter side
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called SWAT team.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
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