What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
A slow poke is what you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
What do you get when two giraffes run into each other?
A giraffic jam.
What do you call an ant who can’t speak?
A mute ant.
A crow was arrested under suspicion of murder. The case was closed, as the judge said he had just caws.
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks!
Why are houseflies great at arithmetics? Because they multiply really fast.
Why do beavers make the best neighbors?
Because they mind their own dam business.
Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?
Well, technically it’s only a murder if there’s probable caws.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
Why did the junkie adopt a one legged crow?
So he could get crow cane from his vet.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saur-us.
What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent
Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house cannot jump!
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
Where does a bee use the bathroom?
BP
What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A polygon.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
What is a bunny’s motto? Don’t be mad, be hoppy!
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
I don't agree with battery hens.
Surely they'd lay bigger eggs if they were plugged into the mains.
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!
They’re so shellfish.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.
How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
My zebra is a rubbish ballet dancer. I think he’s got two left feet.
I can’t believe that during the attempted murder, John Crow, Russel Crow and Sheryl Crow were all in the room.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
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