Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
A crocodile tried to copy a rooster to wake his friends one morning, he went croc-a-doodle do.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
Where do crows go to get educated?
CAWlege
Where does a cat keep its coins? In its purr-se.
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
What is a koala’s favorite exercise?
Bearobics.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
What do you call a polyarmourus deceased gorilla?
Harembe.
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What do you call a happy rabbit? An Hop-timist.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet smell.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house? She was having a bad hare day.
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
When you cross a camel with a cow, you will end up with a lumpy milkshake.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
Why do people like working at the Red Lobster?
It helps them get out of their shell.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
Just finished my first shift as a lion impersonator.
It was a roaring success.
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
What did they Turkey say to the blade of grass? Nice knawing you!
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