What’s a llama’s favorite drink?
Llamanade.
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
What does a tiger say to his friends before eating a meal? "Let us prey!"
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What type of dog does Dracula have?
A bloodhound.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A slow poke.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck!
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
I heard someone broke out of prison using a sheep
I didn’t believe it until I saw the news and he was on the lamb.
Why is it a bad idea to get in a fight with a monkey?
Because they use gorilla warfare.
A beaver's experience in college deep-ends on if they go to the best university.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
Which hotel do mice most often use?
The Stilton.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
Where do rabbits learn how to fly? In the hare force!
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
A pony goes to see the doctor one day.
He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong."
The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
My dog never stands up for himself.
He just rolls over.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
If you were in the jungle, and a gorilla charged you, what should you do?
Pay him.
What did the dinosaur ask his pet dog when he wanted afternoon tea with him?
Do you want some tea, Rex?
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
Pork rinds.
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
Bamboozled.
What do you call a giraffe winning a horse race?
A long shot.
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
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