How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisstory.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Why don't crabs donate to charity?
They're shellfish penny pinchers.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
Why did the tiger visit the eye specialist after dropping a can of red paint on himself? He saw red.
What sound does a turkey's phone make? Wing! Wing!
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A plane in the neck.
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
What did you call the cat next door 10,000 years ago?
A neighbor-toothed tiger.
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
What do drunk kangaroos play?
Hopscotch.
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
Do you think you know more parrot jokes than me? Toucan play that game!
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way!
What type of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
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