What do you call a super articulate dinosaur?
A Thesaurus.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito? An otter fortune cookie
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
Why are cats scared of trees?
Because of their bark.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-Bee
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What do you call a flying turtle?
A shellicopter.
Why did the chicken go to the zoo?
To get to the otter slide.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What did the baby goat say to his father?
I kid you not.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
What did the dolphin say when it broke its neighbor’s window?
It wasn’t on porpoise!
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
Why does the dolphin kingdom never go to war?
Because it would defeat the porpoise.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
Why is it a bad idea to get in a fight with a monkey?
Because they use gorilla warfare.
The group of beavers loved the river because it has a really bubbly personality.
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
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