The mummy couldn't finish his Halloween candies. Because he was stuffed.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
Q: What do you say when a pharaoh doesn't pay you?
A: Egypted me! (He jipped me)
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
What do you call Ryan Gosling in a mummy costume? Ryan Gauzeling.
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
Go to BabaMail
