Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Two Pharaohs are looking for a Sarcophagus...
they walk up to the sarcophagus salesman and the first Pharaoh says "We are looking for the cheapest sarcophagus you have for sale." The salesman asks "you're not looking for a fancy one?"
The second Pharaoh says "no, we are just trying to get our mummy's worth."
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
How did the dog learn to read the hieroglyphics? Because it was an egypt-chien.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
What is the best job for a mummy during holidays? A gift wrapper.
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Q: What did Ramesses II say when he walked into the public restroom?
A: What sphinx in here?
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
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