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Ways to Combat Passive Aggressive Behavior

They say you have to fight fire with fire, and if you've ever been on the receiving end of a stinging comment delivered by a passive-aggressive person, you know it's difficult not to get angry at them. Still, there are ways of coping. Passive-aggressive behavior can take many forms, and it is not always distinct and clear, but it will always be an indirect way of expressing anger. It can be difficult for us to understand that we're the victims of such behavior, and for this reason, we don't have enough time to think of an appropriate response. That's exactly why we've prepared the following guide for you, which will show you 7 common passive-aggressive behaviors and the recommended responses to situations you may encounter.

1. Sarcasm: Ask for clarification without the sarcastic comment

You may be tempted to respond to snarky comments with your own, but you should avoid this if you don't want a fight to develop. Instead, stay calm and respond assertively. When communicating with me, please be direct and avoid using sarcasm. If you have something to tell me, say it clearly without trying to imply anything offensive. I am willing to listen to you and understand your frustration, but it is important to communicate properly.

Ways to Combat Passive Aggressive Behavior

2. Silent Treatment: Do the same

On the other hand, if someone ignores your messages or claims to be too busy to respond, they are exhibiting passive-aggressive behavior. They may be trying to control you by withholding information about their thoughts and actions. This leaves you feeling uncertain and wondering about their intentions. Such a person wants you to feel bad. The best way to deal with him is to simply forget about them, move on with life, and wait for the silence to end. As soon as they see that you are unaffected, they will come to talk to you on their own. Never reward such behavior. Even for adults, reward leads to repetitive patterns.

 

3. Grumpy Face? Stay upbeat

A sullen face and a bitter attitude create a murky atmosphere. This is a response that says, "Okay, whatever you say," and it tries to prevent you from enjoying yourself while they are "in a mood." After all, it's hard to be happy and calm when someone else is sitting in the corner projecting negativity. 

So, how do you get them to stop?
The truth is that you don't need to because this is them dealing with themselves. It's not on you. While they work out their own issues, mind your own business and let them know that you're not in the same sour mood as they are and that they won't ruin it for you. If that person can't tell you what's wrong and why they have a sour face, let them solve their own problems. When they decide to stop acting like a child, you can talk to them about it openly like adults. This requires patience but is very rewarding over time.
Ways to Combat Passive Aggressive Behavior

4. Unfunny Jokes: Ask for an explanation

If someone accuses you of being too sensitive or not having a sense of humor when you don't find their jokes funny, it could be a passive-aggressive way of hiding offensive words. This can be a form of bullying that humiliates you and damages your reputation. To neutralize such jokes, you can ask for an explanation or make a joke yourself. This will reduce the power of the bully without harming you. Additionally, if someone is constantly delaying things, you can set an earlier time to counteract their behavior.

5. Constant Lateness: Move up the time

While it's generally recommended to avoid telling lies, in some situations, they can be useful in resolving bigger issues. For example, if someone tends to be passive-aggressive and their behavior could potentially cause harm, a small lie might be necessary. This doesn't mean hiding important information or being dishonest with your loved ones; rather, it's a trick that can help ensure that meetings and assignments are completed on time. All you have to do is move the deadline or meeting date up slightly, depending on how often that person tends to be late. In the worst-case scenario, they'll end up waiting for you and experience the same frustration you normally feel when they're late.

Ways to Combat Passive Aggressive Behavior

6. Condescending: Agree or ignore them

Sometimes, individuals use condescending comments as a way to conceal their passive-aggressive behavior. These comments may appear as words of wisdom, friendly advice, or encouragement, but they are aimed at controlling your actions and causing you to lose self-confidence. To counter this behavior, you can agree with their comments, which will prevent the reaction they anticipated and put them in their place. For example, if someone tells you that a task is too complicated for you, you can respond by thanking them for their concern. Similarly, if someone compliments you in a patronizing way, you can acknowledge that you may not be as skilled as they are in a particular area. However, you excel in other areas.

If someone makes a negative comment about you, you have the option to either respond or ignore it. However, it's important to remember that their intention is to provoke a reaction from you. Ignoring their comments may not give them the satisfaction they were seeking.

7. Eye Rolls and Other Gestures: Call them on it

If someone rolls their eyes or makes other dismissive gestures towards you, they are trying to assert their superiority and invalidate your words. It's important to acknowledge these behaviors and address them directly, such as by asking if they have something in their eye or offering them a headache remedy. The individual in question will now be required to clarify their actions, which may involve denying or revealing something they have kept hidden until now. If the situation seems likely to escalate into an argument, it is advisable to express regret and state that you are not interested in discussing the matter further until everyone is calm and collected.

Ways to Combat Passive Aggressive Behavior
A few words in conclusion...
While recognizing passive-aggressive behavior can be challenging at the moment, the aforementioned list can help you identify when you are in a passive-aggressive situation and equip you with the necessary tools to handle them in a composed and effective manner. Keep in mind that passive-aggressive behavior is usually indicative of a person being too afraid to confront you directly, and you can certainly assert yourself in front of someone who is intimidated by you.
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