Before the Transition: Preparing for the Big Change
It takes time to process big changes, so tell your children about the transition to the new kindergarten or school as early as possible. Focus on the positives of this change and not on any negative reasons why the child has to move (if there are any). In a follow-up conversation, also talk about what the child can look forward to when they move to the new environment. You should present the transition as an opportunity, not as a challenge, and emphasize that you will go through it together and that you are very excited for them. Here are some more specific tips:
Talk About the Transition Earlier Than You Think Necessary
The earlier you bring up this topic, the better. Although young children may not fully understand what the upcoming change means, the more you talk about it over time and present it as something positive, the more enthusiastic they will be about it. Older children also need time to process the transition, and it's important to remember that children pick up on how you feel, so you should display optimism rather than anxiety about their well-being in the new environment or fear of disappointment. It's okay to feel sad about the change, and if your children express such feelings, let them open up, but you need to encourage them and reassure them that everything will be okay.
Address Their Concerns
Your children may not be ready to talk about the transition fully when you first bring it up, but if they have questions later, they will come to you on their own. At such moments, let them voice their concerns and address each issue individually, with a positive approach and honest answers. One of the main concerns is leaving friends behind, but today it's easy to stay in touch through social networks, and you may decide that this is a solution that will help your children cope with this separation. If the transition also involves leaving a group that the child is part of, such as scouts or a sports team, assure them that even though they are changing schools, they can still join a new and similar group in the new place you're moving to.
If You Are Moving House, Let the Children Help
The best way to get your children excited about a big change the whole family is going through is to involve them in the process from start to finish. Give them tasks, even if they are very young, and make sure to show them that you are proud of the way they are helping you. Older children can pack their own belongings in boxes, and younger children can tell you what to put in which box, and you can also let them decorate the boxes with colors. You can also visit the new house together, show them their new room, and start planning with them how they will decorate and design it. Along the way, you can also stop by the new school so the children can see it too.
During the Transition: The First Days in the New Environment
Your children will need to make new friends, adjust to a new routine, and become part of a new community. If you help them during the first few days, it will make it much easier for them, and here's how to do it:
Help Your Children Prepare for the First Day
Whether it's the first day of school or mid-year, your children's first day in the new environment will be very scary for them. Much of the anxiety stems from not really knowing what to expect, so help your children get used to their new routine. Therefore, it's a good idea to visit the school before the first day and get familiar with the building itself, as well as to plan the morning of the first day together with the children. For example, if you will be taking the bus, walk with them to the station so they can see where it is and how to get there from home. For young children, books and stories that talk about the topic or about new beginnings can be very helpful in helping them understand the process ahead of them. Buying new school supplies or a new backpack can also help excite them for the new start.
Arrive with a Plan for a Smooth Start on the First Day
The truth is, how your children will be received at the new school is unknown. Some children will be welcomed, while others may face many challenges in trying to connect with other children, at least in the first few days. Therefore, it is highly recommended that you talk to your children's teacher before they enter the classroom and ask her to help them adapt. For example, you can ask the teacher to seat your child next to another child who she knows is friendly and sociable, and even pair them up for a class project. If the child is entering a new kindergarten, it's a good idea to give them small gifts for all the children, such as stickers or simple toys, so that the children will welcome them with enthusiasm and joy.
Continue to Encourage Your Children in the First Days
If you are packing a lunch for your children, write them a small note with a few encouraging words to boost their confidence, and walk with them to the bus stop on the way to school in the first few days if needed, even if they are old enough to go alone and don't mind. When the school day ends and the children come home, ask them how their day went and be empathetic or enthusiastic about their answers. Don't just ask, "How did it go?" but ask more focused questions, like what they liked about their new classroom or who they spent recess with.
After the Transition: How to Help Children Adjust to the Change
Even after perfect preparation, there is no guarantee that your children will have an easy time in the new environment, so you need to be aware of their situation continuously and help them according to what you see or think is right.
Help Them Deal with Challenges
Each child will adapt to a new environment in their own way, and some will adjust quickly while others will need a little more time. Therefore, you need to be there for your children and continue to ask them how their day went, listen and be patient. It should also be noted that at different ages, children will face different challenges; young children will mainly have to adjust to the new routine in kindergarten or the classroom and to the new teachers, while older children may struggle to make new friends and form close connections with other children. The whole process can take several months, sometimes even a year, and sometimes it may seem that the child has completely adapted, and the next day you may think that suddenly they have taken a few steps back.
In the end, you know your children better than anyone, so you need to look for signs of changes that should raise a red flag, such as:
- Changes in eating habits or loss of appetite
- Mood swings or tantrums
- Changes in how your children interact with other children
- Changes in your children's self-expression (clothing, hair, etc.)
- Changes in sleep patterns
- Decline in school grades
Integrate Your Children into the Community
Your children's social life does not develop only at school, but also within the framework of after-school activities, and you can help your children make new friends even in the new neighborhood if the change involved moving house. Young children should be taken to the nearest playground regularly, where they will often meet the same children, and as they grow, they will get to know them and be happy to play with them again and again. Older children can be enrolled in a class on a subject that interests them, which will become part of their identity and can even provide them with a new common ground to connect with children with similar interests at school.
A Few Words in Conclusion
Change is both stressful and exciting at the same time, and there are many things you can do to reduce the stress factor and increase the excitement for the new chapter in your children's lives. As parents, you need to support your children before, during, and after the transition to a new environment, listen to them, and help them cope with the challenges and emotions they will face. With empathy, encouragement, and good preparation, your children will be able to quickly adapt to a new kindergarten or school, and we're sure that after reading this information, you also feel more confident about the upcoming change in your children's and your lives.
