10 Signs of Ego Issues in a Relationship

What is Ego?

1. The Need to Always Be Right

One of the strongest and first signs of an inflated ego is the need to always be right while paying very little or no attention to the feelings of your partner. In such a situation, the most important thing is that your partner agrees with you, and the problem here is that sometimes you are wrong but cannot allow yourself to see it or admit it. Additionally, in such a situation, there is very little listening to your partner, as well as very little consideration of their opinions and beliefs.

What to Do to Prevent This

Remind yourself that you are in a relationship where both of you have an equal opinion, and try to reach a compromise if you are not entirely comfortable with your partner's decisions and they do not agree with you.

2. Decline in Your Intimate Communication

Healthy communication is essential for maintaining a good relationship, especially for fostering a sense of intimacy between partners. We are not talking about your ability to discuss daily matters with each other but about your intimate communication and your ability to open up to each other.

This won't be possible if your partner feels you have an inflated ego, as they will feel they need to be careful with their words. They actually fear the ticking time bomb that could explode during a conversation with you or that you will judge them harshly. Because of this, they might prefer to keep secrets to themselves and even spend more time with others rather than with you.

What to Do to Prevent This

The solution is to allow healthy communication from your side and be more open yourself, as well as give your partner the opportunity to freely express themselves without interrupting, judging, or engaging in other activities while they are talking to you. If there is already a decline in your intimate communication, the first step towards openness should come from you.

3. You Start to Show Jealousy

Another sign of an inflated ego in a relationship is the feeling of jealousy that raises a red flag whenever you sense a threat to your relationship. Usually, this feeling is unfounded and can manifest in various ways, one of which is the attempt to control your partner. In such a situation, you may always need to know where they are, who they are meeting with, and what they are doing.

You may also try to search for and find evidence that your partner is doing something against the trust given in the relationship, even if there is no reason for it. Such behavior on your part will create a negative atmosphere in the relationship, and your partner will begin to fear you.

What to Do to Prevent This

You need to have an honest conversation with your partner that helps clear the air. During this discussion, share with them the feelings of jealousy that have arisen within you and ask them directly—is there something that should make you doubt their commitment to your relationship? Remember to listen patiently to what they have to say and allow them to express themselves.

4. You Always Play the Victim

One of the signs of a wounded ego is an overwhelming fear that you are not good enough for your partner. In such a situation, you will always feel like the victim and fall into self-pity. You will constantly feel pressure to prove yourself to your partner, as if there is some kind of competition between you, and measure your actions against very high standards that, in your case, exist only in your head.

When this happens, you will start having more and more negative conversations with yourself in your head, and you won't have many positive thoughts about yourself. As a result, you will find it difficult to trust others, including your partner, and you will struggle to maintain a healthy relationship.

What to Do to Prevent This

Talk to your partner and tell them what you are going through without fearing being honest, hoping to alleviate your concerns together. If this issue stems not from the relationship but from deep-seated problems from childhood, you may need to seek professional help from a psychologist to assist you in addressing it.

5. You Are Arrogant and Conceited

One of the biggest and most well-known problems of an inflated ego is excessive pride and arrogance. It starts subtly with a small sense of pride and gradually builds up until you start to feel you are better than others, even your partner. This could be because you earn more than them, are more successful in your career, or for any other abstract reason. The sense of inferiority you pass on to your partner as a result can be a tremendous burden on them.

What to Do to Prevent This

Getting rid of an exaggerated sense of pride is very difficult, but the first step is admitting it exists and letting your partner know how you feel. If the reason for your pride is external and can be addressed by a change, such as your partner asking for a raise, you can suggest it as a solution that will benefit everyone. It is also important to remember why you were attracted to your partner in the first place and see it as the source of their high value.

6. You Find It Hard to Apologize, Even When You Are Wrong

Another sign of an inflated ego is your inability to say "I'm sorry," even when you know you are wrong and that it is required of you. This is actually related to what was mentioned in the first point—the need to be right—except here, you are aware that you are not right, but find it hard to admit it to your partner.

What to Do to Prevent This

Do not assume that your partner understands you are sorry—say it and even act in a way that expresses it. Surprise them with a gift or a small gesture to show that you are willing to make up for your mistake. If you do it this way, the words will come naturally, and you won't have to try too hard to muster the courage to say them.

7. You Have Narcissistic Tendencies

Narcissistic people do not consider the feelings of those they are in a relationship with, and they even try to use various tactics and manipulations to get them to do what they want. If an inflated ego is something hard to recognize and admit, narcissism is an even bigger problem in this regard.

What to Do to Prevent This

First, you must decide that you want to get rid of the narcissistic tendency. Only when you make such a decision and are aware of it can you begin to manage it instead of letting it control you. Sometimes you will need to stop yourself and actively think about others, putting yourself aside.

8. Your Partner Does Not Meet Your Standards

Do you resent your partner because they do not meet your definition of perfection? It could be that they do not dress as nicely as you would like, they do not get along with your friends, or they are not as eloquent as you would want them to be. The list could be endless, and while some of your concerns may be justified, what ultimately matters is your reaction.

If you suffer from an inflated ego, you are probably trying to change your partner, and in doing so, you are being very hard on them and making them feel bad when they do not meet your standards. It is also hard for you to see their efforts because your standards are so high that if they do not meet them perfectly, in your view, they are not doing anything.

What to Do to Prevent This

Remember that no one is perfect—not even you, and it is likely that you do not meet some of your partner's standards either. Have an open and pleasant conversation about what bothers you, and ask to know what things you do or do not do that go against your partner's values and beliefs. If your partner shows a willingness to change for the better, you can direct them to an expert in the area where they are struggling or help them—with their consent.