Children are a curious people, they say, and this curiosity is welcome even though sometimes it has no limit. They ask countless questions, sometimes even those we don’t necessarily know how to deal with. Believe it or not, it is very important for your children that you learn the answers to these questions. They don’t want to be ignored, lied to, or laughed at. So to prevent you from any future embarrassment, and to know how to answer these not so obvious questions, we collected for you 10 common questions that children ask and how best to answer them.
This is the ultimate question and one that often sets us up for failure. As tempting as stories about baby-delivering storks are and as uncomfortable and difficult it is for us to talk to our children openly about sex at an early age, when you answer this question, it is best to be as honest as possible, and to incorporate a little creativity into your answer so that the child can understand it.
For example, "When two people love each other like dad loves mom, they kiss and hug each other, and dad gives mom cells from his body as a present. Dad’s cells connect to mom’s cells, and a baby starts growing in mom’s belly until eventually there’s no more room, and then the baby comes into the world.” For children who are a little older, you can start by explaining the principles of sperm and egg.
Another question from the world of questions related to sex and reproductive organs that we don’t always have an answer to. At the same time, we must be patient and understand that children's interest in their reproductive organs is completely natural. Try to answer this question honestly and don’t be embarrassed or embarrassing.
For example, "The differences were created so that children could be brought into the world, boys have a penis and two testicles, and girls have a vagina and a uterus, which is a special sack whose job is to hold a baby they will have together one day. They will fall in love and want to have babies, so they will connect together, just like two pieces of a puzzle, and then a new child, just like you, will come into the world. "
Almost all children ask this question when they grow up and become interested in the other sex when boys ask to marry their mother and daughters, their father. The father of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, proved years ago that this is a natural and normal wish that goes with age and the development of understanding. At the same time, the question should not be taken lightly, and it is recommended to clarify to them that there is no such possibility, and to explain very gently why.
For example, "Everyone has a role in the family, and your sister can’t just become a father one day, and you can’t become a grandmother, and similarly, you can’t become mom's husband." When you grow up, your mother will be an old woman and you can still love and care for her, but you’ll want to marry someone your age, young and beautiful, someone who will love you the way you love her and have children together. "
If you are in a public place and your child suddenly raises their voice and points to another person they are drawn to because they seem unusual to them, don’t rush to silence them with irritation, even if you’re starting to feel embarrassed. These are the cases in which the child must be educated to be tolerant of the other and the different, and silencing children without giving them a clear and appropriate response will ultimately lead to the emergence of impatience and intolerance among them. Instead, try to reassure them that they must be more accepting of the other.
For example, "Everyone is different in their own way ... People can be tall or short, fat or skinny, some dark and some light ... You aren’t allowed to point at them or yell because of them, it might offend them. If you see someone who looks different to you, you can ask me about them later, when we're alone, so we'll be sure you're not insulting anyone."
This is a very tricky question that many parents must have found themselves speechless and surprised when they first encountered it. Siblings are always competing for their parents’ love, and if you don’t want to leave the door open for such a question, allowing it to permeate, it is important to be careful not to use one of your children as an "example" for the other siblings, or say that you love one of the children more because they are doing well at school or help you around the house more. Your answer needs to be balanced, one that will strengthen the sibling bond.
For example, "Each one of you is different from one another, and our love is shared by all of you, but we express it differently for each of you, we love all of you equally, just as you love mom and dad the same amount. You are all very dear to us."
The death of a relative or acquaintance, and even the death of a beloved pet may raise in children's minds various questions about the very existence of the world and the question of life and death. With all the desire not to open this topic and burden them from an early age, try not to lie to them about death. You have to explain it gently and compassionately, and understand that they can, and even should, deal with the truth.
For example, "People, animals and even plants, all die in the end because these are the laws of nature ... One day I will not be here either, but it will happen when I’m really old, you’ll be an adult like me and you’ll have children. But don’t worry, until that happens, you will have many more years here and you will live a wonderful life, full of experiences, discoveries, and fun. "
Children, almost subconsciously, tend to feel guilty when they see their parents fighting a lot on a particular topic, regardless of whether or not it has anything to do with them. So even if the fight with your partner was very emotional, and you don’t have the patience to deal with your children's questions, it is important to try and free time and mental strength to make it clear to them that it is not their fault in order to help them let go of their guilt.
For example, "People argue with each other because they don’t always agree with each other's opinion. Just as children argue or fight with each other, adults can too, but you know that in the end we always make up because we love each other and we both love you."
Children tend to fear going to the doctor, especially for vaccines and shots. It is important, therefore, to explain to your child that going to the doctor is essential for our health. Do not underestimate the child's fears or laugh at them, even if it seems to you a way to "put courage" in them because it doesn’t really work and their anxiety will only increase.
For example, "The doctor doesn’t want to hurt you, his job is to fight bacteria and disease. It might be a little bit painful, but without it, you won’t be able to feel good later on. When I was sick, I got a shot, too. I was afraid, but in the end, I was brave, and then I felt much better, you could be like me.
Children naturally don’t like when their parents go to work and leave them at home or at someone else’s house. Whether it's during school vacations, when you have to go to work, or even when your children stay home because they’re sick. Explain to them that your work is something you have to go to for them to have everything they have and emphasize the fun you’ll have when you come back home.
For example, you can say: "I don’t want to leave you, but I have to go, I have no other choice, because work is very important, but remember that I will be home in the evening and that we will be happy to see each other again, Let's trade something: you take my bracelet and I'll take a toy of yours, so we can feel each other even when we're not together.”
Sometimes it seems to us that this question is some kind of child's wit, but this questioning may be real and reflect the contrast between how we tell them to behave and our behavior. So it's important not to be afraid to admit that you aren’t always a role model. It is important for your child to understand that they don’t always have to imitate your behavior and repeat everything you do.
For example, "Yes, I smoke, and sometimes I stay up late at night in front of the computer, but I do not want you to repeat my mistakes ... These are my bad habits that I have to get rid of." I want to be a better person for you and for me”.
