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30 Important Questions to Ask Your Parent

Inevitably, our relationships with our parents change throughout life as we transition from children, to teenagers, and eventually to adults and parents ourselves. In most cases, from the moment we are born until our twenties, this relationship revolves around us - our desires, problems, and aspirations. Only in our mid- or late twenties does our perspective change, and we realize we have the chance to get to know our parents as human beings, beyond their roles as mom and dad. Unfortunately, I realized this too late, with my mother's passing a few months ago.
 
Questions you should ask your parents: woman with elderly mother
 
About a year and a half ago, my mother was diagnosed with cancer, and it only hit me when she was hospitalized that I hadn’t had the chance to ask her so many things I wanted to know. However, I understood that I needed to strengthen my relationship with my father and ask him many different questions, even ones that might make him uncomfortable... Since then, I’ve been trying to talk to my father more openly and challenge him with questions I never thought I’d ask. I can no longer discuss these things with my mother, but now I realize how important it is to get answers to these questions from at least one source. So you don't miss out on the powerful experience of having a real and open conversation with your parents, I’ve gathered 30 questions you should ask your parents. These questions will help you get to know your parents better, and I recommend you take the initiative and talk to your children about these topics too, even if they haven’t asked about them.

30 Questions You Should Ask Your Parents

1. What is your earliest memory? 

2. What is something you always wanted to do but never did, and why?

3. How many relationships did you have before you got married, and how did they go?

4. What was the hardest breakup you ever experienced?

5. When did you get your first boyfriend/girlfriend, and did you fall in love with them?

6. What was the best trip you ever took?

7. Was there a moment or event that drastically changed how you see the world?

8. What was the time I upset or frustrated you the most while growing up?

9. What was the hardest fight you had with mom/dad?

10. What is your favorite photo of yourself? And of the family?

Questions you should ask your parents:
 

11. How do you envision your funeral?

12. How were the early years of parenthood?

13. What was life like when you were my age?

14. What were your biggest challenges in high school?

15. Is this era what you imagined it would be when you were a teenager?

16. How was your wedding day?

17. How was the day I was born?

18. When did you know you were ready to have kids/get married?

19. What do I need to know about our family’s medical history that might affect my health?

20. As a child, what did you dream of doing for a living?

21. What is the most important thing your mom or dad told you in your youth that turned out to be true?

22. Are you at the place in life you thought you would be?

23. When was the first time you remember getting your feelings hurt, who hurt you, and what happened?

24. Who was the first person you said “I love you” to in a romantic context, and what did they say back?

25. If you could have dinner with three famous people, living or dead, who would they be?

26. What were Friday nights like when you were a teenager?

27. When were you the happiest?

28. What’s the best gift you ever received?

29. What time in your life was the best in your eyes?

30. How would you like to be remembered?

A little message to end on:

There are so many things we want to ask our parents, and sometimes we only think of them when it’s too late. If that’s not the case for you, I strongly recommend asking these questions or talking to them about any other topic that piques your curiosity. Even if these conversations feel awkward or uncomfortable, you have no idea what amazing things they might reveal. At the same time, the answers to these questions are something you can share with your children, if they are the right age, and strengthen your bond with them. They may not yet fully appreciate you for everything you are and do. However, if you take the lead and start talking to them openly and honestly, it’s very likely that you will see a change.

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