pessimist

Joke: Pessimist vs. Optimist

There once were twin boys, age six, that had developed extreme personalities. One was a pessimist and the other a total optimist. Concerned, their parents took them to a psychiatrist...

This joke begins with an 3 Friends on a Hunt

This joke begins with an optimist, a pessimist and a literalist going on a hunt...

PERSONALITY QUIZ: Are You an Optimist or a Pessimist?

There are many ways of looking at life, but most of the time people are either optimistic or pessimistic (or realistic) about things? Which are you?

Joke: A Single Mother of 8

A magazine journalist is over at a mom-of-eight's house conducting an interview. Apparently, she has a novel way of calling for them...

Joke: Well, THAT'S a First!

When a hunter arrives at the ER with a bear trap attached to his testicles, the story as to how it happened is bound to be weird...

This Joke Starts With a Huge Family Waiting For a Bus

A blind man vies for a seat on a bus with a family with nine children. Inevitably, he and the husband do not make it on due to overcrowding. An argument ensues.

Joke: What Do You Want to Do When You Grow Up?

A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Joke: Doctor, What Do I Have?

A man returns from a foreign holiday and is feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo tests.

Joke: Talking Peace With Lawyers

wo attorneys boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat...

Joke: Calling Up the Doctor

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office...

Joke: The Tricky Questions...

A little boy has some questions for the teacher...

Joke: The Native American Donkey

This joke begins with an anthropologist without a clue...

Joke: Who Gets the Parachute?

This joke begins with a plane starting to go down, who will get the parachutes?

This Joke Starts With a Man On His Deathbed

A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his wife and four children. Three are tall and athletic, but the fourth... isn't. He asks his wife about them...

This Joke Starts With a Man Being Rushed to Hospital

Mr. Steinberg is rushed to hospital having suffered a heart attack. His wife wants a doctor's note for her to sleep with him after surgery...

Why Has It Gone Hard? (Hilarious Joke)

Two boys are playing by a stream when they see a naked woman. One of the boys quickly runs off.

This Joke Starts With a Worried Man at His Annual Physical

An old man who's having memory problems visits his doctor for his annual physical. The doctor quickly comes up with a solution for his forgetfulness...

This Joke Starts With a Chinese Doctor Opening a Clinic

A Chinese doctor has a little difficulty opening a clinic in the US, so he takes matters into his own hands. He comes up with a rather novel business model...

Joke: Man Goes to a Psychiatrist About a Bossy Wife

A man visits a psychiatrist due to his bossy wife. The psychiatrist promptly tells him not to allow her to do so. He heads home with a new attitude.

This Joke Starts With a Guy Laying Half Dead In a Ward

A patient is seriously ill in a hospital bed when it becomes apparent that his meds haven't been administered properly. Things go further downhill...

Hilarious: He Turns Up At the ER In An Odd Predicament

When a hunter arrives at the ER with a bear trap attached to his testicles, the story as to how it happened is bound to be weird...

Hilarious: Excuse Me, Can I Borrow Your Blanket Please?

A man and a woman are both in a sleeping carriage on a train, but the man is feeling cold and decides to ask for a blanket. He isn't prepared for the response..

Funny Joke: I Need to Explain To You What That Is, Madam

A woman has a particularly odd problem with her nether region, so she chooses to visit a doctor to see if he can help...

Hilarious: Mr. Psychiatrist, What Am I Doing Wrong?

A man is at a loss as to why his love life has turned dysfunctional. As a result, he turns to a psychiatrist to get to the bottom of his issues...

This Joke Starts With Two Doctors Making House Calls

The old doctor is showing the new doctor around and introducing him to the people he treats. The young doctor is surprised at how quickly he diagnoses...

This Joke Starts With a Doctor and His Wife Arguing

A doctor and his wife are having a massive argument over breakfast, but he soon has to head out for work. He never expects what happens next...

Joke: Sir, Your Promiscuity Has Come Back to Haunt You

An American man who had a sexually promiscuous episode while on his travels in China has been made to severely regret his actions...

Hilarious: Do You Really Think I'm Naive Enough for That?

When a family begins arguing about what would happen after the rich patriarch dies, the patriarch seems to come up with a good solution...

Have You Heard This Joke? Good News Or Bad News?

An artist is pleased to hear that all 10 of her paintings on display have been bought by someone. Unfortunately, the big purchase has a twist...

Joke: The Jewish Sons

This joke starts with a Jewish son converting...

Joke: Wedding Decisions

A bride and a groom are with a pastor finalizing details for their wedding day. The pastor asks them whether they want a traditional or contemporary wedding...

Joke: Did He Forget Her Birthday?

This is what happens when you don't remember your wife's date of birth!

Joke: The Suspicious Wife

This joke begins with a suspicious wife...

Joke: The Lie-Sniffing Robot

When you've got a robot that dishes out slaps every time someone lies, maybe it's sometimes best not even to know the truth at all!

Joke: The Magic Scales

A woman goes over to a weight machine while waiting for a bus. To her amazement, the machine talks back to her and appears to be able to predict the future...

Joke: The Devil Has a Schedule to Keep...

This joke begins with a man reaching the gates of hell and meeting Satan.

Joke: Similar Problems...

What a coincidence!

Joke: Don't Drink and Jump

A man and a woman are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. The man soon makes a startling revelation...

Joke: Lights Go Out, Naughty Comes Out...

Four people are in a train compartment together when everything goes dark. An opportunistic poor man decides to capitalize on the opportunity...

Joke: She Still Likes to Have a Drink

An old lady is celebrating her 80th birthday aboard a cruise ship. The bartender buys her a drink, and she proceeds to have a few...

This Joke Starts With a Retiree Entering a Pharmacy

When an old man walks into a drug store and makes an unusual request, the pharmacist decides to do a little prying...

Joke: The Odd Driver

When a cop pulls over a man for speeding, little does he know what he's in for...

Joke: The Arrogant Professor

This joke begins with an arrogant professor catching a plane...

Joke: Impossible Demands

A man notices a woman sitting alone at a table in his favorite restaurant. He decides to send her a bottle of expensive Merlot...

Cheeky Joke: The Doctor and the Stutterer

Enjoy this funny joke about a guy who wanted his stutter removed...

Joke: How to Get Over the Language Barrier

A furniture salesman heads to Paris on a buying trip. He soon sees a lady that takes his fancy. The only problem is that he doesn't speak French...

Joke: When the Evangelicals Are On TV

When grandma and grandpa are watching the evangelical preacher on the TV, they try to heal themselves of their ills by touching it. It doesn't go so well...

Which Famous Saying Should Be YOUR Motto?

Your choices, when you finish the quiz, will indicate what English proverb matches your life outlook the best.

Joke: The Power of the Thermos

A blond is in a store when a Thermos catches her eye. She begins to ask questions about it and eventually makes a purchase...

Joke: The Newlyweds and the Strict Priest...

These newlyweds were asked to do something difficult...

Joke: A DISCOUNT You Say?!?

This couple wanted to go on a fun ride...

Joke: Thank Goodness the Farmer Came Over!

A husband and wife are traveling down a country lane when their car gets stuck in some mud. Luckily, a farmer shows up to give them a helping hand...

Joke: All the Excuses

Jim's had a bit to drink, so he's trying to get out a breathalyzer using every excuse he can think of. Read this funny joke.

Joke: Hedging Your Bets

A man is on his deathbed and a priest is getting him ready for his long journey into the night. Despite his impending death, the man is still very cautious.

Have You Heard This Joke? Pastor Pays Visit To Parishioner...

A pastor pays a visit to an elderly parishioner of his to see how she was doing. He soon eyes a bowl of chocolate-covered peanuts on her bedside table...

Joke: Enough is Enough...

An old man visit the drug store to purchase some Viagra. To the pharmacist's surprise, he doesn't want to use it for it what it was intended...

Joke: You Need to Be Careful When Feeling Frisky...

A man is all by himself in his hotel room while on a business trip. He decides that he wants some company for the evening. This is his story...

Have You Heard This One? The Nuns Visit NYC!

Two newly-arrived nuns are slightly apprehensive about having to eat dogs following their move to the US. Despite that, they place an order as soon as they can.

Test Yourself: What Artist Hides Within You?

Is there an artist in your soul? Which of these famous artists best represents what hides within you? Take our quiz to find out!

Personality Test: What Would Freud Say About Your Ego?

This test will examine how strong your 3 Freudian ego parts are: The ID, the Ego and the Super Ego.

Joke: Could Have Had a Great Career In Insurance

It's Airman Jones' job to make sure that the knew recruits know what they're entitled to on joining in the army. That's when he begins his lesson in insurance..

Joke: How Did You KNOW??

This man's wife knows how to tell if he got drunk...

Joke: It's Difficult to Fulfill a Dying Wish Sometimes

When a window visits an undertaker to see how preparations of her dead husband's body are going, she isn't happy with what she sees. A solution is proposed...

QUIZ: What Trait Should You Pass Along to Others?

What is your best trait to pass along to your children or the other people around you? This quiz will try to guess what that trait is!

Joke: The Fortune Teller and the Bad News

A sneaky woman decides to visit a fortune teller when she's in New Orleans

Joke: Getting Away With It

A bartender is having difficulty keeping track of who has or hasn't paid for their drinks. Seeing an opportunity, a trio of men try their luck...

Joke: I'll Let You Off If You Can...

A state trooper pulls over a juggler for speeding and tells him he'll waive the ticket if he performs for him at the roadside...

Joke: Don't Panic!!!

When a pilot has a heart attack mid-flight, he and his co-pilot aim for LaGuardia airport, but the landing doesn't look like it will go to plan...

Joke: The Brothel Union

Guess which profession just got unionized...

Joke: This Wife Gives a Gift to Her Upset Husband

A couple have an argument at bed-time, so the husband takes himself off to the couch. It isn't long before the wife decides to make amends...

QUIZ: Can You Identify These Scrambled Faces?

It takes a special kind of genius to work out whom these faces belong to. Do you think you're up to the task.

Joke: What Are We Going to Do Without a Camel?

A nun and priest are traveling through the desert when their camel decides to die on them. The conversation soon turns elsewhere...

Joke: The Hot Dog Place

This joke begins with a country boy visiting his sister in New York.

Test: What Does Your Own Smile Say About You?

A smile is such a beautiful thing. What's yours like? Is it a wide grin or a shy little lifting of the edges? Answer these questions and we'll tell ya!

Joke: Putting Your Private Part Right Is Gonna Cost

When a doctor is tasked with fixing a rabbi's mangled manhood, he explains that there's a variation in price depending on the size...

Joke: The Golf Injury

Two women are playing golf. Nothing out of the ordinary there, but one of them will soon give a poor man a day to forget...

Joke: King Solomon's Decision

King Solomon isn't the monarch for nothing. When a man is dragged before him by two women, his decisions have to be calculated and swift...

Joke: The Winking Problem

This joke makes you think about how winking can get you in trouble.

Joke: The Indian Cnadidate

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India.

Joke: HOW Could it Be Worse?

A guy runs into an old school friend on the street. The friend immediately begins talking about his financial troubles...

MEMORY TEST: Discover How YOUR Memory Works

Did you know that there are different types of memory? Take our test to see what kind of memory your brain makes use of!

Joke: Why So Happy?

This professor had a very interesting idea about love making...

Joke: The Best Nursing Home

This old grandmother really likes her new home. She just has one problem...

Joke: A Drink Best Served Cold

A man enters a bar and orders a beer. To his delight, he's only charged 1c for it. Similarly, steak dinner is only 4c, but there's a reason for the cheapness...