patch

This Farmer Has His Work Cut Out Because of Cheeky Kids

A farmer's watermelon patch proves too tempting for a group of local kids, so he hatches a plan to keep them out. Little did he know he'd get his comeuppance...

Have You Heard This Joke? The Kids and the Watermelon Patch

A group of unruly kids are stealing watermelons from a farmer's watermelon patch. He thinks he's found a solution, only to be one-upped by them...

Joke: The Jewish Sons

This joke starts with a Jewish son converting...

Joke: Wedding Decisions

A bride and a groom are with a pastor finalizing details for their wedding day. The pastor asks them whether they want a traditional or contemporary wedding...

Joke: Did He Forget Her Birthday?

This is what happens when you don't remember your wife's date of birth!

Joke: The Suspicious Wife

This joke begins with a suspicious wife...

Joke: The Lie-Sniffing Robot

When you've got a robot that dishes out slaps every time someone lies, maybe it's sometimes best not even to know the truth at all!

Joke: The Magic Scales

A woman goes over to a weight machine while waiting for a bus. To her amazement, the machine talks back to her and appears to be able to predict the future...

Joke: The Devil Has a Schedule to Keep...

This joke begins with a man reaching the gates of hell and meeting Satan.

Joke: Similar Problems...

What a coincidence!

Joke: Don't Drink and Jump

A man and a woman are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. The man soon makes a startling revelation...

Joke: She Still Likes to Have a Drink

An old lady is celebrating her 80th birthday aboard a cruise ship. The bartender buys her a drink, and she proceeds to have a few...

This Joke Starts With a Retiree Entering a Pharmacy

When an old man walks into a drug store and makes an unusual request, the pharmacist decides to do a little prying...

Joke: The Odd Driver

When a cop pulls over a man for speeding, little does he know what he's in for...

Joke: The Arrogant Professor

This joke begins with an arrogant professor catching a plane...

Joke: Impossible Demands

A man notices a woman sitting alone at a table in his favorite restaurant. He decides to send her a bottle of expensive Merlot...

Joke: How to Get Over the Language Barrier

A furniture salesman heads to Paris on a buying trip. He soon sees a lady that takes his fancy. The only problem is that he doesn't speak French...

Joke: When the Evangelicals Are On TV

When grandma and grandpa are watching the evangelical preacher on the TV, they try to heal themselves of their ills by touching it. It doesn't go so well...

Joke: The Power of the Thermos

A blond is in a store when a Thermos catches her eye. She begins to ask questions about it and eventually makes a purchase...

Joke: The Newlyweds and the Strict Priest...

These newlyweds were asked to do something difficult...

Joke: A DISCOUNT You Say?!?

This couple wanted to go on a fun ride...

Joke: Thank Goodness the Farmer Came Over!

A husband and wife are traveling down a country lane when their car gets stuck in some mud. Luckily, a farmer shows up to give them a helping hand...

Joke: All the Excuses

Jim's had a bit to drink, so he's trying to get out a breathalyzer using every excuse he can think of. Read this funny joke.

Joke: Hedging Your Bets

A man is on his deathbed and a priest is getting him ready for his long journey into the night. Despite his impending death, the man is still very cautious.

Have You Heard This Joke? Pastor Pays Visit To Parishioner...

A pastor pays a visit to an elderly parishioner of his to see how she was doing. He soon eyes a bowl of chocolate-covered peanuts on her bedside table...

Joke: Enough is Enough...

An old man visit the drug store to purchase some Viagra. To the pharmacist's surprise, he doesn't want to use it for it what it was intended...

Joke: You Need to Be Careful When Feeling Frisky...

A man is all by himself in his hotel room while on a business trip. He decides that he wants some company for the evening. This is his story...

Have You Heard This One? The Nuns Visit NYC!

Two newly-arrived nuns are slightly apprehensive about having to eat dogs following their move to the US. Despite that, they place an order as soon as they can.

Joke: Could Have Had a Great Career In Insurance

It's Airman Jones' job to make sure that the knew recruits know what they're entitled to on joining in the army. That's when he begins his lesson in insurance..

Joke: How Did You KNOW??

This man's wife knows how to tell if he got drunk...

Joke: It's Difficult to Fulfill a Dying Wish Sometimes

When a window visits an undertaker to see how preparations of her dead husband's body are going, she isn't happy with what she sees. A solution is proposed...

Joke: The Fortune Teller and the Bad News

A sneaky woman decides to visit a fortune teller when she's in New Orleans

Joke: Getting Away With It

A bartender is having difficulty keeping track of who has or hasn't paid for their drinks. Seeing an opportunity, a trio of men try their luck...

Joke: I'll Let You Off If You Can...

A state trooper pulls over a juggler for speeding and tells him he'll waive the ticket if he performs for him at the roadside...

Joke: Don't Panic!!!

When a pilot has a heart attack mid-flight, he and his co-pilot aim for LaGuardia airport, but the landing doesn't look like it will go to plan...

Joke: The Brothel Union

Guess which profession just got unionized...

Joke: This Wife Gives a Gift to Her Upset Husband

A couple have an argument at bed-time, so the husband takes himself off to the couch. It isn't long before the wife decides to make amends...

Joke: What Are We Going to Do Without a Camel?

A nun and priest are traveling through the desert when their camel decides to die on them. The conversation soon turns elsewhere...

Joke: The Hot Dog Place

This joke begins with a country boy visiting his sister in New York.

Joke: Putting Your Private Part Right Is Gonna Cost

When a doctor is tasked with fixing a rabbi's mangled manhood, he explains that there's a variation in price depending on the size...

Joke: The Golf Injury

Two women are playing golf. Nothing out of the ordinary there, but one of them will soon give a poor man a day to forget...

Joke: King Solomon's Decision

King Solomon isn't the monarch for nothing. When a man is dragged before him by two women, his decisions have to be calculated and swift...

Joke: The Winking Problem

This joke makes you think about how winking can get you in trouble.

Joke: The Indian Cnadidate

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India.

Joke: HOW Could it Be Worse?

A guy runs into an old school friend on the street. The friend immediately begins talking about his financial troubles...

Joke: Why So Happy?

This professor had a very interesting idea about love making...

Joke: The Best Nursing Home

This old grandmother really likes her new home. She just has one problem...

Joke: A Drink Best Served Cold

A man enters a bar and orders a beer. To his delight, he's only charged 1c for it. Similarly, steak dinner is only 4c, but there's a reason for the cheapness...

Joke: The Mother Superior Really Needs to Calm Down..

Mother Superior is dying, and her nuns comfort her during her last moments. Suddenly, one of the nuns has a great idea...

Joke: The Generous Old Lady

A pastor pleads to his congregation to be generous with donations that day. He soon notices a $1000 bill on one of the offering plates...

Joke: The Curious Little Girl

When a little girls begins asking her Mom every question under the sun, Mom understandably begins to become annoyed at her. Then, a friend gives her advice...

Joke: A True Story

This joke proves some stories are too weird for fiction.

Joke: To Heaven and Back

A woman suffers a heart attack and ends up in hospital. She has a near-death experience, but awakens. She decides to get some work done...

Joke: The Blondes and the Suspect

Three blondes are being interrogated in order to become detectives. The question turns to how to identify a suspect...

Joke: It's All Relative...

A man looks up to the sky and begins to identify shapes in the clouds. He decides to strike up a conversation with God...

Joke: Dad, I Need Money

A college student writes home to ask for money from his dad. Little did he know that his dad would have a rather curt reply...

Joke: Driving By the Numbers

An old lady is spotted driving very slowly on a highway by a policeman who promptly pulls her over. The problem soon becomes apparent...

Joke: The Silver Haired Husband

This wife's words are so encouraging.

Joke: Ah, to Be Six Again...

A man doesn't know what to do when his wife says she wants to be six again...

Joke: Two Prostitutes and Their Sign

Two prostitutes get pulled over by a police officer because of their rude sign...

Joke: Well, THAT'S a First!

When a hunter arrives at the ER with a bear trap attached to his testicles, the story as to how it happened is bound to be weird...

Joke: Anything to Regret?

A famous surgeon dies and goes to heaven. He asks whether he's done anything that he regrets. He confesses to a minor sin, but all seems to be well...

This Joke Begins With a Bar and an Irish Man

This man has a beautiful custom when it comes to family and drinking.

Joke: The Weird Letter

A man working at the post office has to go through all the illegible letters when he comes across one from Edna...

Joke: The Duck Rule

When three guys die in an accident and go to Heaven, St. Peter is first to remark on the ugliness of one of their wives...

This Joke Starts With Two Stupid Scoundrels Having a Drink...

Two stupid scoundrels are having a drink in a saloon in the Wild West. The barman tells them about a terrible thing the Indians did to his barn...

Joke: The Old Golf Partner

When a husband and wife are discussing golf, the husband is surprised at her suggestion of a golfing buddy for him. But he soon realizes she has a point...

Joke: Everything For a $1

When a man sees an ad for a vacation at a golf resort where everything costs just a single dollar, he immediately decides to book himself a holiday...

Joke: The 160 Year Old Man

A man dies in a car accident and goes to heaven. He's amazed to find that there's a huge orchestra and singing angels to greet him when he arrives...

Joke: I Didn't Know That Divine Intervention Happens

When a tradesman named Jack begins to pain the inside of a church, he didn't know know that divine intervention would occur...

This Joke Starts With a Huge Family Waiting For a Bus

A blind man vies for a seat on a bus with a family with nine children. Inevitably, he and the husband do not make it on due to overcrowding. An argument ensues.

Joke: The Farmer and the State Trooper

The state decides to spend $6 million to raise all highway signs by 12 inches. A state trooper and farmer soon get talking about it...

Joke: The Resemblance is Uncanny...

When a pastor is mistaken for a country singer while doing his rounds, he's quite taken aback, however he soon gets used to his new-found fame...

Joke: The Flies Are Different Out in the Country!

A farmer gets pulled over for speeding. The police officer is busy writing him a ticket when he seems to have some problems with circle flies...

Joke: Some People Are Just Never Happy in Life!

Sometimes in life, you just can't get it right in the eyes of people. That's why you really shouldn't try to please everyone...

Joke: The Annoying Old Drunk

An old man seems to be asking for it when he keeps annoying a huge guy at the pub...

Joke: The Three Politicians

Three politicians, an American, a Russian, and a Brazilian are socializing together. The conversation turns to how they all made their money...

Naughty Joke: These Days Are Much More Liberal, Grandma

When a granddaughter comes downstairs in a see-through blouse and without a bra on, grandma plots a fitting response for her not doing as she says...

Joke: Two Women Hit It Off In Arizona

A wise woman gets a lift from a younger woman while walking out in the Arizona desert. It isn't long before they get talking...

Joke: Mom and Dad's New Wife

When a husband's young new bride and his ex-wife are planning to wear the same dress on their wedding day, you know it's a recipe for disaster...

Joke: Two Roofers in a Fix

Two roofers are working on the roof of a barn when a slight mishap means that they knock the ladder over. Fortunately, there's another way down...

Joke: Two Elderly Men and the Whole-Wheat Bread

Two elderly men are having a conversation about lovemaking, when one of them proclaims that he slept with a 30-year-old multiple times. He reveals his secret....

Joke: The Bank Meeting

A banker runs into an 80-year-old rancher friend while in town, and asks him to address rumors about him marrying a mail-order bride...

Joke: A Single Mother of 8

A magazine journalist is over at a mom-of-eight's house conducting an interview. Apparently, she has a novel way of calling for them...

Joke: Bad News, Trooper

A captain receives a telegram with some bad news about one of his troops. He enlists his sergeant to call him in for a meeting...

This Joke Starts With a Greedy Man...

A stingy lawyer simply isn't willing to let go of the money he has earned - even in death. That's why he hatches to plan to prove that you can take it with you.

Joke: This Man Really Needed to Confess Something...

A woman is holding a candlelit vigil at her husband's bedside when he tells her that he has a confession to make...

Joke: Doctor, What Are You Going to Do With My Husband?

A man's penis just starts to grow with no end to the growth in sight. He soon resorts to seeking out a urologist...

Joke: The Broke Student and His Brilliant Idea

This dog can not only talk, but also read!