husband joke

Marriage Joke: Don't Forget the Gift!

This joke begins with a husband in real trouble. You see, Marty forgot his wedding anniversary, and his wife wanted some serious compensation for the insult.

Joke: The Lazy Husband

One day a husband comes home from work. His wife greets him and says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom...

Joke: A Bored Husband in Target

This joke begins with a wife getting a letter from Target about her husband's behavior...

Joke: The Wife, the Husband and the Genie

A husband and wife in their sixties were coming up on their 40th wedding anniversary when they discover a genie...

Joke: The Husband's Secret Technique

A woman comes home and tells her husband, 'Remember those headaches I've been having. All these years? Well, they're gone!'

Short Jokes: The Best of Disgruntled Husbands!

These jokes are all about those men who just don't want to be married any more...

Joke: The Sad Husband and the Curious Wife

A guy comes home from work and he is clearly upset.

Joke: The Silver Haired Husband

This wife's words are so encouraging.

Joke: A Secret Passed From Husband to Husband...

Two married friends are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says,

Joke: The Unsatisfied Wife and the Wafting Husband

A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. The man has no issues but the woman can’t reach an orgasm, she tells her husband it is because she gets too warm.

Joke: How to Get the Husband Hot and Heavy

Two women are talking about their love life over coffee...

Joke: The Husband's Budgetary Concerns

A rich man comes home and immediately starts shouting at his wife.

Joke: This Wife Gives a Gift to Her Upset Husband

A couple have an argument at bed-time, so the husband takes himself off to the couch. It isn't long before the wife decides to make amends...

Joke: The Cheating Husbands

Three married men are sitting in a pool club and arguing over who has the worst marriage.

This Joke Begins With a Husband Coming Home From Work...

This joke begins with a husband coming home to his wife...

Joke: The Husband, the Wife and the Threesome

There was a man who was very happily married, but, every birthday he would have the same fantasy request from his wife: He wanted a threesome, and every year the wife says no.

This Joke Starts With a Husband and Wife Talking in Bed

A husband and wife are having a discussion in bed, but it isn't quite about what it seems at first...

This Joke Starts With a Husband and Wife Getting Stuck

A husband and wife are traveling down a country lane when their car gets stuck in some mud. Luckily, a farmer shows up to give them a helping hand...

Joke: The Lazy Husband and the Fed-Up Wife

A married couple moves into to a new home. After a few days, as the husband returns home from work, his wife says to him, "Honey, one of the pipes in the bathroom is leaking, could you fix it?"

The Perfect Husband

The husband below really knows how to treat his wife - But what makes him such a great guy?

Joke: Doctor, I Need Help With My Husband

An elderly lady went to the doctor and asked for his help in reviving her husband’s passion.

Joke: Her Husband's New Secretary...

Kevin gets a New Secretary....

Joke: Wife Goes to the Cops to Report Her Missing Husband

A woman goes to the police to submit a missing person's report. The only problem is that her description of him isn't entirely accurate...

Joke: This Woman Won't Let Her Husband Sleep in Church!

This woman's husband won't stop sleeping during church, so the minister comes up with a genius idea to prevent it...

This Joke Starts With a Husband and Wife Going Fishing

There's a reason why men like to go pleasure fishing on their own...

This Man is the Perfect Husband... Or Is He?

The husband below really knows how to treat his wife - But what makes him such a great guy?

Hilarious: The Husband Exam!

This joke begins with a suspicious wife...

Hilarious: A Husband and His Honest Opinion

This woman asks her husband for an honest opinion regarding how old she looks...

Joke: Doctor, What Are You Going to Do With My Husband?

A man's penis just starts to grow with no end to the growth in sight. He soon resorts to seeking out a urologist...

I Bet Every Woman Wishes They Had a Husband Like This!

This retired pilot wanted to make something for his wife, so he built her this highly innovative breakfast machine. What a contraption!

Have You Heard This One? When the Husband Is Away...

When the lady of the manor returns home early from a dreary soiree, her requests put the butler in a quite awkward position.

Joke: Come On, Honey...

A newlywed steps out of the shower and is promptly asked to pose for a nude photo by her husband. She wants one of him in return...

Joke: The Unusual Therapist

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling...

Joke: Whose Panties Are These???

A wife goes on a retreat for work for a few days. Upon her return...

Joke: The Suspicious Wife

This joke begins with a suspicious wife...

Have You Heard This Joke? These Jokes Are Rude!

These jokes are rude but clever!

Joke: The Maid and the Wife

A cheeky joke about a maid who wants a raise...

Joke: Double the Trouble

A woman's husband was cheating on her...

Joke: Who Was That On the Phone?

Sometimes a phone call tell you everything you need to know...

Joke: A Brewing Argument

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

Funny Joke: The Marriage Seminar...

This Joke Starts With a Couples Special Seminar...

Joke: The Mysterious Gift

A husband and wife head off on their honeymoon, only to return home to find a surprise...

Joke: The Complete Bar Experience

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar...

Joke: A Duel For Love

A man gets home early from work and catches his wife in bed with another man...

Joke: The Buggy, The Wife and the Officer

A sheriff pulls over a woman who's trotting down the road in her horse and buggy. It appears there are a couple of very obvious problems that need fixing...

Joke: The Loop of the Secretary

Infinity loop is a computer programming concept, describing a situation of cause and effect that continues forever, one action causing another action that causes the first action etc. etc. These loops never happen in real life, unless...

This Joke Begins With a Seductive Wife...

This joke begins with a wife seductively asking her husband a question...

Joke: The Wife's Math

A woman comes home and find a letter from her husband on the dinner table. She opens it and reads:

Joke: The Old Switcheroo...

George came home from University in tears....

Joke: The Panty Rule

A newlywed couple are about to consummate their wedding night when the husband decides to lay down the law. He couldn't predict what would happen next...

Joke: The Big Medical Bill

An old woman took her husband to the doctor. The doctor checked the husband's pulse, then told the woman, "I'm sorry, your husband is dead."

Joke: Who is That in the Photo??

After a long night buying a foxy woman drinks, Ted took advantage by giving her a ride home.

Joke: The ABCs of Marriage

After being married for 25 years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

These Polish Short Jokes Are Hilarious

When we say Polish, we don't mean people from Poland! We all know these 'Polish' people, who always complain but never do anything about it, who always nag and never seem to be happy. Enjoy this collection of hilarious 'Polish' jokes!

Joke: The Old Golf Partner

When a husband and wife are discussing golf, the husband is surprised at her suggestion of a golfing buddy for him. But he soon realizes she has a point...

Joke: The Lessons of Marriage

n their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Susan was asked...

Joke: A Nauseated Blonde

The blonde wife came home from her first day commuting into the city....

Joke: The Marriage Seminar Went Wrong

This Joke Starts With a Couples Special Seminar...

This Joke Begins With Very Strange Condoms...

A hilarious joke about which medals and relationships...

Joke: 10th Time's the Charm!

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

Joke: Pissing Off a Blonde

A young blond woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.

Joke: His Last Wishes...

A good wife carries out the final wishes of her husband...

Joke: An Inappropriate Girth Remark!

A husband, who's busy doing yard work, makes an uncalled-for remark about the size of his wife's nether region. Her comeback is classic...

Joke: Trouble With the Wife

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depress

Hilarious Joke: The Naked Excuse!

Some people are fast thinkers...

Joke: Three Funerals and a Wedding

A woman makes a new friend at the gym, a beautiful woman. A few months later, she gets a wedding invitation. Excited, she asks her friend if this is her first marriage.

Husband Guide: How to Make Your Wife Fall in Love Again

Guide: how to show love again in simple ways and how to make your wife fall in love with you again.

Joke: The Prisoner Has Escaped...

A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about s*x. Can you explain it to me first?"

Joke: Mother vs. Wife

A 65 year old lady suddenly started learning to swim instead of her usual routine of going to bingo.

A Naughty Joke: That Darn Air Conditioning! (Rude)

This joke begins with a cheating wife who is quite shameless...

This Joke Starts With a Wrong Address..

Hilarious joke about the trouble a little letter can create

Hilarious Joke: These Waiters are Incredibly Efficient...

These waiters have an efficient way of getting the job done quickly.

Joke: The Art of Discretion

Six retired Floridians play high stakes poker in the condo clubhouse.

Joke: Drunken Lies

This joke begins with a very drunk man thinking he can outwit his wife.

This Joke Begins With a Couple Looking for a Child...

This joke is about a circus couple who really wants to adopt a child...

Cheeky Joke: A Terrific Misunderstanding

After Mrs. Grandapple found out her husband was sterile, the couple decided to hire a proxy father...

Joke: Her Italian Vacation

A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport.

Joke: Similar Problems...

What a coincidence!

Joke: A Female Secret...

Some women are gathered and the subject of conversation turns to sex and then birth control.

Joke: Playing Golf With Your Doctor

A husband decides to join his wife for the first time playing golf. He's never really been into the game, but since his wife was playing with all these men around, he wanted to come and check it out.

Today's Joke: Honey, Why Are You Crying?

It is the middle of the night and Laura wakes up to find that her husband was out of bed...

Joke: How Do I Look?

This woman is having some body image issues, and her husband thinks that he has the perfect response...

This Joke Starts With a Man and a Woman Fast Asleep...

This husband got a rude surprise...

Joke: Wedding Decisions

A bride and a groom are with a pastor finalizing details for their wedding day. The pastor asks them whether they want a traditional or contemporary wedding...

Joke: The Missing Pajamas

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing...

Joke: A Whole Lot of Luck

One day a woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she's wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, "Where did you get that necklace?"