Why did the log fall into a creek? Because that's how it ROLLS!
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear
Knock knock…
Who’s there?
Voodoo.
Voodoo who?
Voodoo you think you are?
What did the beach say to the tide when it came in?
Long time, no sea.
Q: What is a dentist's favorite animal?
A: A molar bear!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He felt crummy!
What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha
Where do crayons go on vacation? Color-ado!
Why did the daddy rabbit go to the barber?
He had a lot of little hares.
What stays on the ground but never gets dirty? Shadow.
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
A mom texts, "Hi! Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?" He texts back, "I Don't Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later." The mom texts him, "It's ok, don't worry about it. I'll ask your sister, love you too."
Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
Did you hear about the injured vegetable? Some say he got beet.
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
Why is England the wettest country? Because the queen has reigned there for years!
The opposite of isolate is...
yousoearly.
What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead and I'll hang around!
What kind of driver never get a parking ticket? A screw driver
What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bare-foot.
Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.
What caused the airline to go bankrupt? Runway inflation.
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it!
Which is the building is the largest? The library because it has the most stories.
Can February march?
No, but April may.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor.
What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships
Q: Doctor, I keep hearing a ringing sound.
A: Then answer the phone!
What streets do ghosts haunt? Dead ends!
What did a sign say outside the pet shop? Buy 1 dog get 1 flea!
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a bogey in it.
What word looks the same backwards and upside down? Swims
What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
When do you stop at green and go at red? When you're eating a watermelon!
Did you hear about the sick juggler? They say he couldnt stop throwing up!
Why do vampires seem sick?
They’re always coffin.
Where does bad light go? PRISM!
Why is justice best served cold?
Because if it were warm, it would be justwater.
What kind of shoes do private investigators wear?
Sneak-ers.
How do spiders communicate? Through the World Wide Web.
What do you call sad coffee?" Despresso.
How do you communicate with a fish? Drop him a line!
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time
Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalized? Reports say it was due to too many strokes.
I’m sick of martial arts.
I have kung flu.
What do you call a frozen dog? A pupsicle.
Which is the longest word in the dictionary? "Smiles", because there is a mile between each "s"!
What do you call a ghosts mom and dad? Transparents
What did the pink panther say when he stepped on the ant? A. deadant deadant deadant deadant.