What do you call ten Arctic hares hopping backwards through the snow together?
A receding hare line.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
What do you call an Eskimo cow?
An Eskimoo!
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing...
But I can't put my finger on it.
What plant do both Spaniards and French agree is the best?
Seaweed.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
To everyone in the Christmas Tree industry
You all do a great job! Stand up and take a bough!
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
What did the snowman and his wife put over their baby’s crib?
A snowmobile!
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
What did the Christmas tree tell his crush? I pine for you.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What happens to romantic trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A Puddle.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
What’s the scariest plant?
BamBoo.
Why are Christmas trees so clean? They know how to spruce things up.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
What do you call a dinosaur who sat on a cactus?
A megalo-sore-ass.
Today isn’t the day to be making jokes about the weather.
It’s snow joke.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What did the conifer say when he finally got alone with his crush? It’s just yew and me, baby.
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!