Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
If you live in an igloo made of snow, what’s the worst thing about global warming?
No privacy!
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
What looks like half a pine tree? The other half.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
Why was the sapling crying to her mom? She said the big trees wouldn’t leaf her alone.
Where do American trees like to go for vacations in Canada? Montreeal.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
Getting my toy drone stuck in the tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
Why are trees such great thieves? They really have sticky fingers.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
What sort of cakes do snowmen like?
The ones with thick icing!
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What is a mountains favorite type of candy?
Snow caps.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
Today a large tree suddenly fell over right in front of me.
I was stumped.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
What is a tree’s favorite geometry shape? The treeangle.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
Scientists have genetically modified a Venus Fly Trap to have the skin of a cactus
They say its bark is worse than its bite.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
Did you hear about the big company that made syrup from contaminated trees? They maple their syrup from the shelves.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.