Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear?
An algae bra.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?
One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.
Why are gnomes friends with dolls?
They like to share clothes.
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
Did you know that unicorns live in New York City? I swear why do you think their called uNYCorns?
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
You mermaid to go far.
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
I have a bone to pixie with you.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
What is the little mermaid’s favorite font?
Arial.
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
The ocean doesn't like to say hello, it just waves.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
Who granted the fish a wish?
The fairy codmother.
Fairies just spell trouble.
You mermake me happy.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
Why is the tooth fairy so smart?
Because she has wisdom teeth!
A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.