How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
A witch with chickenpox is called an itchy-witchy.
What did the Wicked Witch of the West say when she extracted metal from ore?
I’m smelting!
A ghost's favourite pie flavour is boo-berry.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets? So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Why did the troll go running?
To keep up with you!
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
Werewolves love similes and metafurs.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees?
- Looks like you are running a femur.
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
People say Frankenstein’s monster had a temper…
But actually he was surprisingly level-headed.
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
What kind of hotdogs do ghouls like best?
Halloweiners!
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
What does the iron-deficient giant say?
- Fi fo fum.
What did the witch say when the door-to-door broom salesman showed her a vacuum.
I don't want an automatic. I want a stick shift!
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
What did the ghost buy at the bar? Boos!
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
Why do vampires always dress so nice?
Because they’re so vein!
Was there a spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
Yes, he simply couldn’t resistor.
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
Stealthy minotaurs are always camooflauged.
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What do you call Bigfoot from Canada?
Sasquatch-ewan.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a person who makes pots?
Harry Potter
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
Did you hear about the vampire who tortured his victims with music?
His Bach was worse than his bite.
Why did the witch's cat scratch her?
Because he was in a bad mewd.
Everyone loves my Halloween costume, but I still see room for improvement.
I guess I'm an ogre-achiever.