What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? He is mist.
Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
A wise saying among werewolves: Chasing your tail will not make ends meet.
How should you greet a Ghost? - Long time, no see.
Why do Minotaurs make terrible detectives?
Because they hate to go on steak-outs!
Why did the hotel staff dress as witches for Halloween?
Because they provided broom service!
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat?
Carpals.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
Please stop making jokes about little people
How would you feel if a bunch of giants made jokes about you?
Who will Frankenstein’s monster take to the dance?
Any old girl he can dig up.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
How do Yetis tell the time?
With a sasq-watch.
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What happened when the werewolf swallowed a clock?
He got ticks.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Did you hear about the person who watched too many Shrek movies?
He ogre-dosed.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a hyena?
A monster with a sense of humor.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
The troll told his girlfriend that he was head ogre heels for her.
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Dr. Frankenstein must have been pretty buff.
He was a bodybuilder, after all.
Why do witches not wear a regular hat?
Because there's no point in it.