An idea is one of the worst killers of vampires. They don't see it coming, and then it dawns on them.
Why did people stop going to the ghoul hospital?
They kept coming out dead!
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
Why did the troll kiss the witch?
To keep her busy in love!
What do they call Bigfoot in Europe?
Bigmeter.
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
What job did Dracula’s son have on his little league team?
Bat boy!
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock his room? A spoo-key.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
Why do werewolves do well at school?
Because every time they’re asked a question, they come up with a snappy answer!
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What is a Ghost’s favourite treat? Ice-scream floats.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
Why was the ghoul so smart?
He always ate brain food!
The most useless room in a ghost's home in the living room.
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
What do you call a skeleton who goes to school but doesn’t do any work?
Lazy bones.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
What do you call a necromancer werewolf?
A dog with a bone.
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
Why did the skeletons form a rock band?
They wanted to “Rattle them bones”!
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
What do you get when you cross a goblin, a stop sign, and immortality?
An everlasting gobstopper!
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night.
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
What kind of pet fish did the skeleton have?
A bonefish.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!