According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
Where are werewolf movies made?
Howl-lywood.
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
What kind of jewelry do witches wear?
Charm bracelets.
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
What type of art do skeletons like?
Skulltures!
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
Account Dracula.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
Pan wants to lead his kind to rebellion, but...
He can't get no Satyr Faction.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
Two skeletons are talking in a bar.
Skeleton 1: "Are you going to the funeral tomorrow?"
Skeleton 2: “Of corpse I am.”
Frankenstein’s monster was really worried one day.
“Pull yourself together”, said Frankenstein.
How did the skeleton baker make bread?
He Knee-d it.
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a werewolf?
Terrier-fied!
What do you call a communist vampire?
A red blood count.
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
Did you hear that the police arrested a pair of vampires?
They got them on two Counts of robbing a blood bank!
Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
What is a ghost's favorite place to work?
Ghoul-gle.
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
Count Draculas.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
Why did the skeleton go to acting classes?
He wanted tibia star.
What kind of hats does the skeleton baseball league wear?
Skullcaps.
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes?
Because they have a funny bone.
"That was a howling adventure!" said the werewolf to the zombie.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying?
He could see right through him.
Why didn’t the lady skeleton wear a bikini?
Because she was big boned.
On reflection, vampires aren't actually that scary.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.