Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Because it looks like you landed on your face.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
You're like a dictionary... you add meaning to my life.
You looking at me is making me turn as red as that roasted beet salad.
This morning I saw a beautiful flower, and thought of you.
Forget about pumpkin, you’re the only cutie pie I need.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
I cannoli have eyes for you.
You’re just like how I like my potatoes — sweet.
Wow, you feel like a comet, you are a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and I’m glad I didn’t miss it. Can I buy you a drink?
You asked me what love was and I did not know how to answer it. Now I know it's a feeling that can not be mastered.
Are you an alien? Because you just abducted my heart.
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
Can I give you a hug to show you how soft my sweater is?
I’m not being obtuse, you are acute girl.
Are you a booger? Because I want to pick you first.
I’m a raindrop and I’m falling for you.
It’s a good thing I have my library card because I am totally checking you out.
I normally fish for trout but I'll make and exception for you.
Honey, do you like water? That means you already like 80% of me.
Are you from Mars? ‘cuz I wanna explore you with curiosity?
If your heart was a prison, I would want to be sentenced to life.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought of you, I’d be in a higher tax bracket.
You like curling? Check out me curling my biceps!
I didn't believe in predestination until I met you.
I’m attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun – with a large force inversely proportional to the distance squared.
I'm going to start watching my caffeine intake because baby you make my heart palpitate.
No taxation without representation! But, there is a kiss tax. Strictly enforced and right on the lips.
I love you so much that If you were suddenly on fire, I'd pee on you.
My Spotify sucks. It showed me the hottest singles, and missed you out!
Hey baby, I just found out our shirts were manufactured in unfair working conditions; let's take them off.
I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
Good thing I just bought term life insurance … because I saw you and my heart stopped!
Nurse, can I have a little sugar to help the medicine go down?
I could say that I wandered lonely as a cloud before I met you, but what are these Wordsworth if you won't go out with me?
If I was an operating system, your process would have top priority.
I had to clean my filter twice after I saw how beautiful you are because I couldn’t believe my Arabicas.
It took God seven days to make the world but it'll only take seven digits for you to change mine.
My skate blade is not the only thing made of steel.
How much does a Polar Bear weigh?
I don't know.
About ten pounds less than you, fat-ass.
You're the only sight I want to see today.
In your hands my heart is clay, To take and hold as you may.
The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
Girl I just gotta get you. Call it animal instinct.
What are your plans tonight? I’ll be free if you’re feeling a little Leo-nly…
What's your name? Because I'll be screaming it all night long.
Like America to Hawaii in 1898, you’ve annexed my heart.
I'll neck ya like Hawko necks a beer!
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
Oof – is the Aaron here really fresh or is that just you?