Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
How can you tell if you are in love?
If they stole a pizza your heart.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
What is a strawberry that likes to spin called? A berry-go-round.
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea? Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
Don't tell secrets in corn fields.
Too many ears around.
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
When you cross a train engine with a strawberry tart, you make a puff pastry.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
The bread actor was sad because he lost a juicy roll.
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
A pine and an apple talk to a pineapple “Poor you, my friend! You are certainly adopted, dude.”
Recently in a meeting at the greengrocer I work at, I asked my manager how he was doing. "Just peachy", he replied.
What song do young peaches love listening to? 'Papa don't peach'.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes?
To make them light and fluffy.
If you put your ear up to a Taco Shell
You can hear the Sí.
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
What was the donut’s least favorite part of its day?
I’m not really sure; it glazed over that part.
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
How does an ice cream cone congratulate you on the anniversary of your birth?
It’s sherbert day!
What's the difference between a bipolar person and a loft full of lemons?
One's a bit erratic and the other's a bitter attic.
What is everyone getting for completing No Nut November?
“Nuttin”
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
When I refused to have the soup, my sister said "People who do not have soup are stew-pid".
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
Who named their daughter Macadamia?
A couple of nuts.
What do you get when you cross a pickle with an alligator?
A crocodill.
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
I think therefore I yam.
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
How do you know the French Onion is Canadian?
Because the oignon est!
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Some peas rolled off my plate, and one went far further than the rest. He was the cham-pea-on.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
What do a pregnancy test and hummus have in common?
They both require a chickpea.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Q: What’s red and goes up and down, up and down?
A: A cherry in a lift.
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.