What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette. They call it “Nico-tang”
What happened after the conifer fell in love at the orchard? A pineapple tree.
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
My wife told my four year old daughter that she couldn’t use her plastic IKEA knife to slice mangos.
I said “Yeah kid, that’s just not going to cut it.”
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
After I show a peach the way, it says: “I really ap-peach-iate your help!”
Which fruity singer was a judge on 'The X Factor'? Cherry Cole.
A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet? ”He said, “It’s just the
way I yam.”
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
.
I’m not old. I’m aged to perfection. And full bodied.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
A never-ending natural supply of beer?
Hops springs eternal.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
Cheeses Crust.
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
The orange juice industry is not doing very well.
Tomorrow they will give a special press release.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
Did I invite you to the Barbecue?
Then why are you all up in my grill?
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
French onion soup.
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
There's no need to cherry your feelings, I know you love me really.
I’d like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: "Na."
Grandma: Do you like Hummus? Me: I love Hummus....and I sometimes like to singus!
How many atoms are in guacamole?
Avocados number.
What do we call a chicken inside a hot tub? – It is called soup.
I squeezed a lemon on my wife's lap two hours ago...
She's been a sourpuss about it ever since.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
Many people have a mythical belief about soup. It is called soup–erstition.
What does a caped monkey superhero drive?
A banana-mobile.
Why are you eating a banana with the skin on? Oh, it's all right. I know what's inside.
What do you call a pickle lullaby?
A cucumber slumber number.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
Why is Mrs Mayo mad at Mr Ketchup?
She caught him watching the salad dressing again.
Is it bad to swallow a cherry whole? No don't worry, it's just one of the pitfalls of life.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
Berries are the most fashionista of the fruits, they can really cherry off the wildest outfits.
What is the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Everyone would roast beef.
What do you get when you cross a pickle with an alligator?
A crocodill.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
Corn mazes should be renamed Maize mazes.
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.