Did you hear about the lowest grade of steak? It's where the rubber meats the road.
Why did he skeleton go to the barbecue? To get another rib.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
A strawberry usually gets stuck often when it gets jammed.
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
What did the mother bread tell her baby roll? You really are the apple of my rye.
How do you know that beer makes you smarter?
Because it made bud wiser.
Man wins award after he died eating appetizers at a Mediterranean restaurant
It was a Post-Hummus award.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?
He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
Why did the pineapple suddenly stop the car in the middle of the highway? Because it just ran out of juice.
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
What does a worry wart drink? Safe-Tea.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
You know what they say about when life gives you melons?
You might be dyslexic.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
What do you call an edible ion?
An onion
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
What kind of fish is only made of salt.
A tu-na.
Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.
What do you call a cherry that is hard as nails? Tough as old fruits.
What do you call 2 fruits that can't get married?
Cantelopes.
Why is it called Almond Milk?
Because no one would buy it if it was called Nut Juice.
What does an anteater like on its pizza?
Ant-chovies.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down hill.
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
Ju.
What do you get when you spill soup on a comic book? Souperman.
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
An owner of a pizza shop has just been found dead covered with pineapple, ham, mushrooms, and pepperoni. Word is that he topped himself.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
Cheeses Crust.
A cued peach visual communication system is used with people suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
I had a meal recently that was made with ketchup and mustard.
It was delicious! My condiments to the chef!
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
Why can't Superman eat the corn tortillas at taco Tuesday?
He's afraid of that chip tonight.
What is a strawberry that likes to spin called? A berry-go-round.