You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
Q: Why was the fruit not selected for the singing competition?
A: He has a flat peach.
What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.“
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
I saw a fruit running from the police recently
It was a water felon.
Which type of wine only comes in a box?
Carbordeaux.
What’s a balanced diet like?
A slice of cake in each hand!
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
What did the horny woman say about her coffee?
That coffee’s not the only thing that’s hot and wet this morning.
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
I've been on a real hummus kick lately, so as I came home from work tonight, my sister says to me "You're always bringing home hummus now." To which I replied, "Hummus where the heart is!"
What do you call someone who chokes on their tea?
A cough-y drinker.
This foundation is rock salad.
Why is it called Almond Milk?
Because no one would buy it if it was called Nut Juice.
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up! Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog? Because she wanted a chili dog.
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite game, it's peach ball.
Why did the blonde throw her favorite doll on the grill? She thought it was a Barbie-Q.
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
Why was the orange the valedictorian of her class?
She was the zest in class.
The IT peach-guy is an expert in the field of peach synthesis.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
What do pizza delivery guys and porn stars both see too much of?
Stiff tips.
Why wasn't the bag boy allowed to work at the juice bar?
Because baggers cant be juicers.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
Woman’s Rejection: Sorry. I don’t date guys I pit-y
What's the difference between Hummus and Humus?
"mmmm"
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
The tiny bag of flour got in trouble, so his mother sent him to bread early. He kneaded to be punished.
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin? When you drop it; then it's squash!
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
I love having dinner in a local restaurant. It has a soup-erb speciality that mixes soup and herbs.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.